Babes, Blood, and Betrayal
by rosestar1324
Summary: Rose: Doesn't the title say it all? Deadpool meets some babes, kills people, and there's betrayal. Deadpool: And lots of- Rose: HEY! I'm narrating! Deadpool: Well you were about to spoil the ending where I- Rose: Hey wasn't going to and you were about to spoil it! Anyway, this story was based off a dream I had- Deadpool: Oooh! You have dreams about me? Rose: *sigh* Just read it...
1. Chapter 1

**Rose (Me): Hello. I am the author of this Deadpool thingy and before you start reading the actual story you will need to know a few things (so you won't get confused)**

**[] if you see these thingys (whatever they're called) it means the "white box" is talking**

**{} these thingys means that "the yellow box" is talking**

**And lastly if the words are bold you can tell that that's me talking**

**Deadpool: Hurry up! Get on with it!**

**Rose: Ahhh! How did you get in my house?!**

**Deadpool: Does it really matter? Hey how old are you?**

**Rose: *O.O* why do you want to know?!**

**Deadpool: Um…. Never mind! Just start the story!**

**Rose: Okay… um, I'm going to go call my mom...**

**Deadpool: Dammit! You must be too young for me if you're calling your mom**

**Rose: What are you talking about!? I was just going to tell her that Deadpool's in our house and if I'm not here when she gets back that means that I ran away with you.**

**Deadpool: *O.O* …**

**Rose:*Chuckles then laughs evilly***

**Deadpool: Are you ok?**

**Rose: Yeah, I'm fine. **

**Deadpool: If you don't mind I'm going back into the story.**

**Rose: Okay. Bye!**

Inside a Mexican diner, Deadpool was waiting impatiently at his booth for his waiter. "Come on! Hurry up! I'm starving here!"

[What's taking so long!?]

{Yeah! If I don't get my food within the next 5 minutes, I'm going to go Incredible Hulk on this place!}

Finally, the waiter showed up. "FINALLY!" Deadpool shouted.

[FINALLY!]

{FINALYLY!}

"What would you like to eat?" The short Mexican man with a moustache asked politely. He was wearing a white t-shirt with blue jeans and brown work boots.

"Well…" Deadpool started to think.

{Pizza!}

[Mexican diners don't sell pizza.]

{WHAAAAAATTTT!}

[Yeah. They don't]

{FINE! Just get me the usual}

"Okay. I would like 20 tacos, 30 burritos, and 50 chimichangas!" The waiter nods and walks into the kitchen. When he returns 1 hour later, he slides onto the table plates full of tacos and burritos. Deadpool looked around the food as if something was missing. "Excuse me, waiter. Where are the chimichangas?" he kindly asked.

"We don't have any chimichangas."

[WHAT!]

{WHAT!}

"WHAT! What kind of Mexican restaurant doesn't sell chimichangas?"

"This one."

"I demand chimichangas! RIGHT NOW!" Deadpool banged his fist on the table.

"Sir, please calm down. You're disturbing the other customers." The waiter pleaded.

"Just give me my chimichangas and I'll calm down."

"I told you we don't serve chimichangas."

"Then I want to speak to the manager!"

"Oh no, please, sir. Anything but that," the waiter looked worried. "Can I get you something else? Maybe something that is actually on the menu?" Deadpool stood up and looked down at the waiter.

"If you won't serve me my chimichangas…"

{We'll shoot him! Please tell me that we're going to shoot him!}

"No. We can handle this situation like men." Deadpool told his yellow box.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Oh, just the yellow boxes." The guy gave him a weird look. "You know, because we're in a book or comic or…. Wait what is this, Rose?"

**Rose: A fanfic.**

**Deadpool: If this is a fanfic, then why do I have boxes that no one can see?**

**Rose: No one could see them before.**

**Deadpool: No. In my comics, the readers were able to see them.**

**Rose: I don't have enough money in my budget to pay of that.**

**Deadpool: Girl, you need some more money so you can pay for an actual comic book production company and so you can get out of your mother's basement. *snaps fingers***

**{Hey! Speaking of productions}**

**[EW! Shut up!]**

**Rose:*frowns* All of you, get your butts back in the story! *looks at Deadpool* And I don't live in my mom's basement!**

**Deadpool: Fine! Whatever. **

"Anyway, you can't see them because we're in a fanfic and not a comic. Actually, only the reader can see them so never mind. You couldn't see it anyways."

{Can we just shoot him?}

"No," Deadpool says, picking up a plate of tacos. "I'll just take these." He starts to walk out the door.

"Hey! You forgot to pay!" the man shouts. Deadpool throws an empty plate in the man's face then leaves.

{We're not paying!}

[It's not like we had any money to pay with anyway.]

Deadpool pulls out a small note pad labeled "Note To Self" and writes, "_Blow up chimichangasless diner._"

{Yay!}

[So, where are we going?]

Deadpool finished his stolen tacos and just before he got to say anything his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He giggled then answered. "Hello?"

{Oooh! Who is it?}

"Yes?"

{WHO IS IT?}

"Uh huh."

{OH MY GOD! WHO THE F*** IS IT?}

" Sure, I can totally do that! Thanks!" Deadpool hangs up and puts his phone away. "Guess what, guys."

[What?]

{…}

"What's wrong, little yellow box- which isn't really a box and instead is some fancy symbol on a keyboard?"

{I'm still mad at you.}

"For what? What did I do?"

[While you were on the phone, he kept on asking who it was but you ignored him.]

"Oh I'm sooo sorry, little guy. I was just trying to get the deeds."

{Tch!}

"I know what will make you feel better." Deadpool sang.

{…what?}

"The guy on the phone has some enemies that he wants dead."

{I guess that makes me feel little better…}

"And the best part is, is that the guys he wants dead works at the diner!"

{Yay!}

"Let's go home and get the bombs!" with that, Deadpool ran all the way back to his rundown home and grabbed all the explosives he could carry. By the time he returned back to the diner it was nine o'clock at night. He discreetly planted the bombs around the establishment and then moved to safe distance on top of a building. "This place about to blow!" he sung like Kesha. Simultaneously, the building exploded, but just the outer layer was destroyed and the rest caught on fire.

[Well, not what I expecting but…]

{Did everyone die?}

Some of the people who managed to escape the structure called 911.

{Awwww.}

[Did the guys who we were supposed to kill die?]

Deadpool used his binoculars and looked around the many bodies lying on the burning floor. He saw that the three guys that were supposed to be dead were running out of the back door. Or what was left of it. "HEY! GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT DONE TRYING TO KILL YOU YET!" Deadpool shouted as he ran after them. The three men ran down a back alley. Deadpool followed. He pulled out his guns and started to shoot at his targets. Sirens belonging to the police and ambulances were heard. "S***! I have to get off the streets!" Moving quickly, Deadpool scaled a building and proceeded to follow the men from the rooftops.

Blocks away, Deadpool and his-soon-to-be-victims were out of sight of the law enforcement and he was ready to make his move. "On the count of three," Deadpool whispered.

[One..]

{Two..}

"THREE!" Deadpool jumped off the building, with kitanas in hand, and sliced off the heads of two of the three employees from the Mexican restaurant that he ate at earlier that day. The heads rolled on the ground. Taking a quick look at the emotionless faces Deadpool realized that they looked just like the face of the Mexican man who didn't give him his chimichangas! "So, I'm killing triplets?"

{I guess we are.}

Deadpool shrugged, "Ok. As long as I get paid."

[Guys, the last one is getting away.]

Deadpool turned his head to see the third man run out of the alley and into the streets. He of course chased after him. An ambulance drove right in front of Deadpool nearly running him over. "Hey watch it, buddy! Mercenary trying to kill someone here!" He waited for the ambulance to pass before chasing after the short man.

{Where'd he go?}

Deadpool looked around and noticed that his target had jumped onto the back of the ambulance. "Hey! No fair!" Deadpool climbed a building and tried to shoot out the vehicle's tires but misses. "That's it! Where's my bazooka?!"

[You left it at home.]

"Dammit!" Frustrated, Deadpool jumped building to building looking for the ambulance. "Where the hell did he go now?"

[Probably to a hospital.]

"Good idea. Which one?"

[Since ambulances usually take their patients to the closest hospital form the accident, they most likely went to the one downtown.]

"Okay. Let's go!"

Opon arriving at the hospital, Deadpool immediately saw that the building was covered with cameras. It had emergency entrances on opposite sides of the building and armed guards. "What kind of hospital is this?" A guard started to walk in his direction. Deadpool quickly jumped into a bush. When the guard passed Deadpool came out of the bush and shot a knock out dart into the guard's neck.

{Why the hell didn't you just kill him?!}

"You'll see," Deadpool smirked and dragged the body behind the bushes.

[So we're going to take out the guards one by one?]

"Nope." Deadpool took off the helmet the guard was wearing.

{Oh. I get it.}

[You didn't want to get blood all over the uniform.]

Deadpool took off the rest of the guard chothes and puts them on. "Let's go." He said in a deep voice.

**Rose: Well I'm gonna end it here.**

**Deadpool: What!? Why? It was was getting good!**

**Rose: Yeah but my little brother came in and I hardly see him. We're going to play video games. **

**Deadpool: Cool! Can I join?**

**Rose: Um…. Sure?**

**Deadpool: What game are you guys playing?**

**Rose: Marvel vs. Capcom 3**

**Deadpool: Yay! Now it's fighty time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rose: *sings* I'm baaack!**

**Deadpool: I missed you! You were gone for soooo long!**

**Rose: How could you have missed me if you were with me all night playing video games?**

**Deadpool: …**

**Rose: *Shakes her head at Deadpool*Anyway on with the story.**

**Deadpool: Wait!**

**Rose: What now?!**

**Deadpool: Did anyone else think that I was going to rape that guard last chapter? I know I did.**

**{Me two!}**

**[Me three!]**

**Rose: Can I please start the story now?!**

**Deadpool: Fine!**

Deadpool took off the rest of the guard clothes and put them on. "Let's go." He said in a deep voice. He casually walked inside the hospital. When he got inside he saw his target run inside the elevator. "Hey! Get over here!" He shouted like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. He ran to the elevator at top speed. But, unfortunately for Deadpool, the elevator closed and he ran into it, hard. "Ouch!" He picked himself up off of the floor.

**Deadpool: What is this guy's name?**

**Rose: Why are you asking me?**

**Deadpool: Because you're the one writing the story.**

**Rose: Well I didn't give him a name.**

**Deadpool: I'll call him Marvin.**

**Rose: Why "Marvin"?**

**Deadpool: Because it's easy to remember.**

**Rose: Fine! His name is Marvin.**

"Hey!" said a deep male voice from behind.

He turned around and saw a male nurse run up to him. "Um… hi."

"You're not supposed to be in here!"

"But I had to take a tinkle," Deadpool said doing a fake pee-pee dance.

"Oh, okay than. It's right down there." He pointed down the hall.

"Thanks, bro!" Deadpool ran into the bathroom. There was already a nurse using the urinal. Deadpool took out a knife, snuck behind him, and slit his throat. The poor man fell on the ground and bled to death.

{Yay! Blood!}

Deadpool striped the nurse of his uniform and put it on. After hiding the body, Deadpool walked out of the bathroom, ran down the hall, and slammed his fist on the elevator button. When it opened, he charged inside and had a collision with a shorter red-haired female nurse. She looked at him.

"Oops. Sorry Doctor…," she looked at his ID badge. "Doctor Crowe! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"You have?" Deadpool disheartenly asked.

"Yes I have." She pushed him into the elevator and pressed a button. The elevator went up. Deadpool took out a knife and raised it above his head, ready to kill the woman. Suddenly, the elevator stopped and opened. The lady grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hallway. Deadpool quickly hid his weapon. After taking him down many twists and turns, they finally reached their destination. "Here," said the nurse handing him a clipboard. "Patient number 2423 is waiting for her special injections."

"What injections?" Deadpool asked suspiciously. The nurse laughed.

"You know. The 'special' ones"

"Okay? Why can't you do it?"

"Because I'm not a doctor and you said you wanted to at the meeting last week."

"I did? Uh, I mean, I did!" he stuttered.

"Whatever!" she rudely stated and walked away.

"Rude bitch!" Deadpool said taking a step into the room. He threw the clipboard into the garbage and looked up when he heard moans coming from the hospidal bed. It was Marvin! "Well, hello, Marvin," he said deviously.

"My name's not Marvin," the man answered rudely.

Deadpool totally ignored the man's comment and pulled out a gun and aimed it at Marvin's head. "Say 'good night', Marvin. BANG!" He pulled the trigger and shot Marvin once in the head.

[But there's a witness.]

{We have to kill her, too.}

"Oh yeah! I forgot someone else was in here." Deadpool pulled open the curtain and aimed his gun at the person laying in the bed. His mouth dropped and his eyes widened when he saw-

**Deadpool: I wanna describe her!**

**Rose: Okay fine! Go ahead and hurry up!**

**Deadpool: Okay. *deep breath* She was smokin' hot! She looked like she stared in Sir Mix-A-Lot's 'Baby Got Back" music video! **

**{Or she was on the cover of our favorite magazines!}**

**Deadpool: Baby got it goin' on!**

**Rose: Is that it?**

**Deadpool: What do you mean?**

**Rose: Is that really all you noticed about her?**

**Deadpool: Of course not!**

**Rose: Un huh. What hair color did she have?**

**Deadpool: Um… Blonde?**

**Rose: No you….*Deep breath* Never mind. I'll just describe her. She had perfectly tan skin, hazel eyes, and she had black hair with red tips that was long and wavy. Her nails, eye shadow, and lips were a deep red.**

** Deadpool: Yeah. That's what I was going to say!**

**Rose: No you weren't! Anyway, let's just continue.**

The girl looked at his weapon and started to panic. "What are you doing?! Why do you have that?!" she screamed in a Australian accent.

{Great first impression! She's going to TOTALLY go out with us, now.}

"I didn't know there was a hot babe behind the curtain!" Deadpool panicked.

"W-who are you yelling at?" she questioned.

"Oh, just the voices in my head." She gave him a terrified look. He smacked his face. "No! Wait!"

[Way to go, genius.]

"Shut it! You're distracting me!" He hollered. The woman reached for the phone. "Hold it!" He grabbed her hand. "Let me explain!" She struggled for a minute then calmed down once she realized there was no way for her to break free.

"Fine. You have one minute."

"Yes! Ok, here's what happened," Deadpool took in a deep breath and started to explain everything- from dressing up as a nurse to the rude waiter. The woman sat in the bed with a scared look on her face.

"So, you're telling me that not only you are a crazy doctor who's been keeping me here against my will but, you are also a crazy mercenary who kills people for a living?!"

[Maybe telling her the whole truth wasn't such a good idea]

{I told you so!}

"No you didn't!" Deadpool argued.

{Well, it was implied} Deadpool looked at the woman again.

[Wait. What are you doing, now? Don't you remember? You ruined your chances with her. You might as well just walk away or kill her- witch I hope you don't do.]

"Of course I'm not going to kill her!"

"Um..." the woman muttered. "Could you please let me go..."

"Oh... um... sure..." Deadpool slowly let go of her hand.

"Thank you.." she slowly got out of the bed- opposite of him, grabbed her "outside" clothes, and slowly started to walk away.

"W-w-where are you going?" he asked.

"Oh.. um.. to the bathroom?"

[Dude, she's obviously scared. Just leave.]

"Don't worry. I'm leaving," Deadpool slowly walked out the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a woman smack a man. The woman looked approximately between the ages of 20 and 30 and the man looked to be 40 years old.

[I wonder what happened.]

"Who cares," Deadpool said pressing the elevator button.

Down the hall the woman took out her cell phone and dialed a number. 50 miles in the middle of the sea, a male assassin dressed in a black and grey ninja costume with a pointed letter "B" and spikes poking out the shoes, knees, elbows, and head answered the phone. "..."

"Ok, listen carefully," the lady started, "One of my friend's test subjects is about to leave the facility and I can't let the world know what has been happening here. I need you to silence her...permanently."

On the other line, a girl in a black leotard, purple cape and ninja mask, white platform gothic boots and utility belt and a white lightning bolt on her chest walked over to the assassin and listened in on his conversation. Her hair was black with white highlights.

"I'll pay you one million dollars to finish the job," the lady said.

"We'll do it," they both said simultaneously.

"Good." The lady chuckled evilly.

**Rose: Well that's all for this chapter.**

**Deadpool: What? Why? Why didn't you let me get with her? She was totally hot!**

**{Yeah!}**

**[Yeah!]**

**Rose: Calm yourselves!** **This story is nowhere close to being finnished. I have a lot of more things I gotta add.**

**Deadpool: Oh...**

**Rose: Yeah so calm down!**

**Deadpool: Fine.. but just for now..**


	3. Chapter 3

**Rose: Ok. I'm back again.**

**Deadpool: It's about time!**

**Rose: What do you mean "It's about time"? I wasn't gone for that long.**

**Deadpool: Yes you were!**

**Rose: You know the longer you stay here and argue with me, the longer it's going to be until I type what happens to that lady you like.**

**Deadpool: What are you saying?**

**[She's saying that you and that hot woman go in a date later.]**

**Deadpool: Really!? Oh goody!**

**Rose: I never said that!**

**[I know you never said that. I read it in your story outline.]**

**Rose: I don't have a story outline.**

**[...]**

**Deadpool: So I don't get to date her? *sniff* *sniff***

**Rose: Are you crying?**

**Deadpool: *sniff* No! *sniff* I just... *starts crying***

**{Look what you've done!}**

**Rose: Oh my gosh... Deadpool, if you stop crying, I'll let you talk to that woman again.**

**Deadpool: *sniff* You promise?**

**Rose: Yes...**

**Deadpool: YAY! *runs back into the story***

**Rose: Oh no he didn't! He did not just trick me!**

**[I believe he just did.]**

**{Game set and match}**

**Rose: Oh two can play at this game.*laughs evilly***

We find our favorite Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool, sitting in a booth at his favorite Chinese food restaurant. He was obliviously distraught. Deadpool took a sip of his soda.

{Hey, lighten up. Look at the bright side.}

[And what's that?]

{I heard online that everyone has a doppelganger. So maybe we can find her's and start anew.}

[You're an idiot. You can't believe everything you read online!]

{Uh, yes you can!}

"Guys, can you just be quiet right now. I'm not in a good mood."

{Whoa. You're still this bummed out? Come on, man, there's plenty of fish in the sea.}

Deadpool sighed, "yeah but-"

[Look! There she is!]

"What?! WHO?" Deadpool looked around and saw the lady from the hospital and another woman ordering food at the counter. The other woman had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was wearing a pink tank-top, Apple Bottom jeans, and furry boots. Deadpool hid under the table.

{What are you doing? Why are you hiding under a table?}

"I don't know! I panicked. I don't know what to do!" whispered a shaking and nervous Deadpool.

[Well, first, you can start out by not looking like an idiot.]

"You're right." Deadpool got out from under the table. "Where'd they go?" He quickly looked around and saw the two women leave the restaurant. He followed.

{What are you doing?}

"You know what I'm doing. I'm following them," he explained.

{Why?}

Deadpool took a deep breath, "why do I have to explain this to you. You're in my head!"

{Because I need to hear it from someone else.}

"Oh, OK then. That makes since."

{So why are you following them?}

[You already know. He's still in love with the woman and he wants to know where she lives. Am I right?]

"Yep. Pretty much."

After hours of trailing the two ladies, they finally stopped at an apartment complex. {I'm surprised they didn't notice us.}

[Yeah. It's like they wanted to let us know where they lived.]

"Yeah... Oh wells," Deadpool climbed on top of the apartment complex, down the fire escape, and looked through their window.

{Stalker.}

"What? I'm not stalking them! I just have a feeling that something bad is going to happen."

[Ya don't say.]

"Shh! I'm trying to hear what their saying!"

Inside the apartment, the two women were eating their Chinese food on the couch. The blonde woman noticed Deadpool outside their window. "Hey, Heather," the blonde said, addressing her friend.

"Yeah, Tara?" Heather answered taking a bite of rice.

"When did you get a stalker boyfriend?" Tara asked.

"W-w-what do you mean?" Heather shuddered.

"That guy outside the window. Is he your stalker boyfriend or your bad boy boyfriend?" Terra pointed at the window. Heather turned around.

"What is HE doing here?!"

"Well, if he's your boyfriend why don't you introduce me to him?" Tara asked walking towards the window.

"NO! TARA! WAIT!"

[Dude, we've been spotted!]

"AHH!" Deadpool screamed like a girl. He spent so much time fancying about Heather that he didn't even notice that he had been caught or Tara opening the window.

"Come on in," Terra welcomed him. Deadpool thought about it and then came inside.

"Thanks. It was cold out there," Deadpool looked at Heather. "Hey baby." He smiled. Heather stood up and backed away from him. Tara noticed Deadpool's array of weapons he had strapped to his body.

"Oh, so he is a bad boy," Tara presumed. She smirked.

"Why yes. Yes I am." He winked.

{Did you forget that she is totally terrified of you?}

"Oh yeah... I forgot.."

"Tara, I told you not to let him in! He's the guy who tried to kill me!" Heather explained.

"Wait. In my defense, I didn't know you were totally hot before. And if I did, killing you would be the farthest thing from my mind." Deadpool clarified.

"So, is he your stalker boyfriend or what?" Tara asked again, frustrated.

"He's not my BOYFRIEND!" Heather exclaimed.

"Oh..."

"But I know you want me to," Deadpool smirked.

"What? NO! Why would I? You tried to kill me!" Heather argued.

"But, I said I was sorry," he pleaded.

"No you didn't!"

"Well, I'm apologizing, now!"

"Well, I don't forgive you!" Heather crossed he arms. There was a knock at the door. "Coming!" she answered. "Tara, can you keep him here, please?"

"Sure," Tara answered. Heather went to answer the door. "Don't let her attitude fool you, she really does like you.. or at least your type."

"What do you mean my "type"?" Deadpool asked.

"We saw a movie a few nights ago. There was this guy who reminds me of you. She totally fell in love with him! She wouldn't stop talking about him! She even said-" a loud female scream interrupted her. "Heather!" she screamed as she ran to the door. When she got there she saw a ninja assassin about to stab her with a long sword. The assassin pulled his arm up and then down stabbing the person in front of him in the chest. Everyone, including the assassin, stood in shock. The sword had went right through Deadpool's chest. "OH MY GOD!" Tara shouted. "H-h-he..." she passed out.

"Ow! Dude, you were supposed to stop before you stabbed me! Now I'll have to kill you!," Deadpool yelled.

"H-how are you still alive!?" Heather inquired.

"Oh that? That's a long story. But skipping to the point, I was given an immense healing factor that is sooo strong that it heals me from wounds, especially the ones that would kill me," Deadpool explained. He took out a gun and shot the assassin but he blocked with another sword. The ninja pounced on Deadpool and proceed to stab him in the chest.

[This is going to hurt in the morning.]

"Ouch!- don't worry- OW!- about me, sweet cheeks. Just make sure- AHHH!- your friend is okay- OUCH!" Heather pulled her friend to the couch. Deadpool kicked the guy off of him and stood up. After fighting the assassin for a few minutes, Deadpool finally came out the victor. He turned to face Heather. "So, do you forgive me now?" A small red dot appeared on the side of Heather's face.

{Uh oh..} Deadpool tackled Heather onto the floor just before a bullet hit her head. She started to breath rapidly.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I almost was killed three times today... Do you think I'm ok?"

"Considering you're not dead, yes." He smiled under his mask.

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"Not letting me be your boyfriend?" She smacked him. "Ow! I was kidding!" Tara woke up.

"Oh, I'll just give you guys some privacy," Tara said. She almost left the room when Heather shouted her name.

"TARA! Don't you dare leave me with him!" Heather gave Deadpool a look that said "I hate you."

"I love you, too!" Deadpool hugged her.

"Aww! That's so sweat! Hold on! I got to get my camera!" Tara ran out of the room.

"I told you not to leave me!" Heather pushed Deadpool off of her and crawled away from him. She stood up so fast that she lost her balance and hit her head so hard against the wall that she made a hole in it. She fell on the floor. "ouch..." she said dazed.

"Are you ok?" Deadpool asked again, this time elevating her head. She smiled.

"I am now, baby" Deadpool looked confused at her out of character comment.

{Didn't she just hate us a few seconds ago?}

[We saved her life. Two times! There's no way she can hate us, now!]

"OMG! What happened to the wall?!" screamed Tara.

"It wasn't me," said Deadpool.

"Oh great, Heather! Thanks to you, I have to go to the store and buy the stuff to fix it!" She picked up her car keys and headed for the door. "Don't brake anything else!" She slammed the door close as she exited.

"So what do you wanna do now?" said Heather with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why do you like me all of a sudden?"

"What are you talking about? I always liked you."

"YOU DID?"

"Yeah," she giggled.

"Oh.."

"Why? You don't like me anymore?"

"OH NO! Of course I still like you!"

"Good." She smiled sweetly. "You hungry? I still have some Chinese food left over."

"Babe, I'm always hungry" She chuckled and went to get the food.

{This is weird.}

"What's weird? Eating Chinese food?"

{No. That you actually got her to like you.}

"Hey, what's not to like..." he smiled.

{Well...}

"Don't answer that!" Heather came back.

"Here ya go," she said, handing him a plate.

"Thanks." Deadpool pull up part of his mask and gobbled down all the food on his plate.

"Whoa! You sure do eat fast!"

"Yeah, I haven't eaten all day!" He said ,wiping his mouth. She yawned.

"Sorry. I'm really tired."

"Yeah. Me too." Deadpool pulled down his mask and stood up. "I guess I should be heading home." He put his plate in the sink.

"You could stay here if you want. Tara doesn't live here and I have an extra room."

[She totally wants us.]

"Um, sure. Why not?" Deadpool chuckled.

"Follow me," Heather got up. "Wait. Wasn't there a unconscious ninja on the floor?"

"Oh crap! I totally forgot about him!"

{Dammit! We forgot to kill him!}

"Do you think he's still here?"

"There's only one way to find out." Deadpool pulled out both of his guns and proceeded to check all of the rooms in the apartment.

Five minutes later, "nope, he's not here," Deadpool informed her.

"I assumed he left after getting his ass kicked by you." She smiled.

"Well, yeah, but it was nothing. I mean, I've fought waaay tougher ninjas than that guy." Deadpool bragged.

"Really? Wow! I never knew you were so strong!" she flattered.

"Yeah. I don't like to brag or anything but I did arm wrestle The Hulk a few times.. ha the looser had to paint himself green." They both laughed.

"Well," Heather yawned again, "I'm going to bed. The guest room is the third door on the right. Good night."

"Night." Heather went to her room and closed the door behind her. Deadpool sat back on the sofa. "I'm sure she won't mind if I watched some TV for a while."

A few buildings away, the two assassins hired to kill Heather were arguing over their failure. "Blade, we can't fail again. Mrs. Robinson won't like a double failure." said the female assassin.

"Hey, I was just the distraction. It's not my fault you missed," Blade retorted.

"I didn't miss... Deadpool pushed her out of the way!" she shot back.

"Did you hit her? Is she dead? NO! Sai, you did miss! What kind of sniper are you?! See, this is why I told you not to use the guns!" Before Sai got to respond, her phone beeped. She answered it.

"Hi, Mrs. Rab! Did we kill her, yet? Um, no. There were some complications. What kind? Well, Deadpool's with her. Well, yeah. It looks like their dating."

"Wie kannst du es wagen! Ich zahlte euch top-Dollar, sie zu töten! Sie sagten, Sie könnten es heute!" Mrs. Rab yelled in German.

**Rose: Translation- "How dare you! I paid you guys top dollar to kill her! You said you could do it today!" In case you guys don't speak German. **

"Es tut mir leid, Mrs. Rab. Ich verspreche, wir werden sie töten. Mach dir keine Sorgen." Sai insured.

**Rose: Translation- "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rab. I promise we will kill her. Don't worry."**

"Du solltest besser!" Mrs. Rab demanded. Sai hung up the phone. Her face turned white as if she saw a ghost.

**Rose: Translation- "You better!"**

"No more messing around, Sai. When Mrs. Rab starts yelling in German, you know she's pissed. Next chance we get, we need to just hit her with everything we got. Deadpool may be able to keep one of us form killing her but if we both try at the same time we'll get her," said Blade.

**Rose: That's it for this chapter. Dang this was long.**

**Deaedpool: *sings* ****I got brand new girlfriend.**

**Rose: You sure about that?**

**Deadpool: Of course!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Rose: Ok, before we get started, I would first like to thank Kalliope1990 and blue blood maiden** **for being the first two the review my story! Thank you both for your kind and encouraging words. They really made my day!**

**Deadpool: Can we start the story now?!**

**Rose: Someone's in a hurry. Where's the fire?**

**Deadpool: On Heather! She's HOT!**

**Rose: *Rolls her eyes* I guess I should of expected that.**

**Deadpool: START THE STORY!**

**Rose: Fine. But only because you're the only one in this room who's loaded with weapons.**

Deadpool awoke to the smell of French Toast.

{Mmm! That smells good!}

"Yeah!" he agreed. He stood up and stretched. He spent the night on the couch. Tara looked over to him from the bar in the kitchen, which was where she was eating.

"Oh, you woke up! Great!" she said. Deadpool noticed that Heather wasn't with her.

"Where's Heather?" Deadpool asked. Tara finished her toast, wiped her mouth, put her plate in the sink, and grabbed her car keys before responding.

"She's taking a shower," she finally answered.

"Oooooh," Deadpool said suspiciously. Tara walked to the door. Today she was wearing pink sweats with a grey shirt that said "Appearances Can Be Deceiving" in gold letters. She picked up a small pink basket of clean folded clothes.

"I'm going to run these out to my car. I'll be back soon!" Tara left.

[She sure does like pink.]

{Yeah.}

"Well, I guess it's just you, me, and a hot Australian babe," Deadpool said to the voices in his head.

{And French Toast!}

"And French Toast. That sounds good because," Deadpool walked over to the stove, "I'm starving!" He started to stuff his mouth but then suddenly stopped.

[What is that?]

"It sounds like... singing?" Deadpool took the pan and went to the only place the singing could be coming from- the bathroom. As he got closer, the voice became more clear. Heather was singing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce.

_"Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it, if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. Don't be mad once you see that he want it. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it..."_

[She's good!]

{She has the voice of an angel!}

"Hey! That's my jam!"

[You guys are perfect for each other!] Deadpool cracked the door to listen better.

_"Don't treat me to the things of the world. I'm not that kind of girl! Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve is a man that makes me, then takes me and delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond! Pull me into your arms, say I'm the one you want. If you don't, you'll be alone and like a ghost, I'll be gone. " _Deadpool closed the door.

"I never knew she could sing like a canary!"

{Wow..}

"What?" Deadpool asked, taking a bite out of his toast.

{I still can't believe you got her to like you.}

"Stop saying that!"

[I'm sorry, but it's true.]

"Whatever," he said annoyed.

{You know what would make this taste better?}

"Pancakes?"

{PANCAKES!}

"OH YEAH!" Deadpool ran into the kitchen and pulled out all of the ingredients he needed to make his pancakes.

After cooking for thirty minutes, Deadpool had finally made enough pancakes to satisfy his bottomless pit-like hunger-which was somewhere between one-hundred pancakes and two-hundred pancakes.

{Dang, we cooked those pancakes fast!}

"Yep." He put some pancakes on his plate, sat at the table, and started to eat. Heather walked into the kitchen wearing blue jeans and a purple tank-top. She screamed.

"What are you doing here?!" She hollered.

"Um... eating pancakes?"

"B-but why in my house?"

[Actually, it's an apartment.]

"Actually, it's an apartment," Deadpool corrected.

"You know what I mean!"

"Well, you did let me stay here.." he explained.

"I DID?"

"Yeah, don't you remember?" Tara came back to the apartment.

"Hey, Heather! I just saw Doctor Proud outside! She told me to give this to you." Tara said before handing Heather an envelope. "She said it was important." Heather sat on the sofa, opened the letter, and started to read it. The room suddenly became quiet.

"I have to go," she finally said, breaking the silence.

"Go where?" Deadpool asked.

"Somewhere," Heather impolitely answered then marched out the door.

{OK NOW it seems like she hates us again.}

"Yeah... Hey, Tara?" Deadpool asked.

"Yeah?" she said.

"What did that letter say?"

"I don't know. I guess she wanted to meet her for another session."

"What kind of session?" he questioned.

"A psychotherapy session." Deadpool looked confused. "Didn't she tell you? Aren't you guys dating?"

"Um..."

{Not technically.}

"Why would she need therapy?" Deadpool asked.

"I... don't know," she nervously uttered.

"You sure?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Um.. yeah. Look I got to go home to.. um... water my plants, yeah that's it. To water my plants. Anyway, see ya later." Tara quickly left the apartment.

"Well..."

{That was weird.}

[Yep. Very strange and suspicious.]

{You know what we should do, now?}

[What?]

{Follow her!}

[Why do you insist on being creepy?]

{We're not being creepy we're just protecting her. Don't you remember those assassins trying to kill her?}

[Oh yeah!]

"We gotta protect her!" Deadpool ran out the house and down the street.

{Do you know where you're going?} He stopped running.

"No. Not at all..."

**Deadpool: Hey, Rose could you draw me a map?**

**Rose: No.**

**Deadpool: Why?**

**Rose: Because I would ruin the story.**

**Deadpool: How so?**

**Rose: Because... um.. actually I don't know why.**

**Deadpool: *smiles* So are you going to draw me a map?**

**Rose: Why draw you a map when I could just tell you?**

**Deadpool: I guess that'll work too.**

**Rose: They're at the park.**

**Deadpool: Thank you! I owe you one!**

Deadpool ran to the park. He saw Heather and her therapist walking peacefully around quiet side of the pond. They were talking about something but it were too far away to hear.

[There they are.]

{Let's go over there.}

[No. We should keep our distance. If those assassins try to attack her we'll kill them, end the threat, and we'll have endless moments of free time with Heather.]

"Oh yeah."

[So, we'll hide in the shadows and wait for them to attack.]

Deadpool secretly followed them around the park and searched for traps or any sign of danger. There were none. Heather finished her session with her therapists and headed home. Deadpool continued to follow her. We they arrived home, Heather immediately crashed on the sofa, tired from her long day. Deadpool sat in the fire escape thinking about what to do next. Tara strolled into the living room. "Hey, Heather! What's up?"

"Nothing.." Heather answered softly.

"You ok?" Tara asked with a really concerned look on her face. "You don't look like nothing's going on."

"Yeah, I'm fine," she plainly said.

"Well, if you're really sure, Lilly's throwing a party tomorrow and she wanted to know if you and your boyfriend, Deadpool, were coming."

[Ohh! A party!]

{I love parties!} Heather frowned.

"He's. Not. My. Boyfriend!"

"Then why do you guys act like a couple?"

"No we don't." Tara gave her a blank look.

"So, is his birth name 'Deadpool' or is that just what people call him?" Tara asked. Heather's face looked like it exploded with anger.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?! How many times do I have to tell you that we're not dating?!" Heather screamed.

"You guys aren't dating?" Tara cocked her head to the side. Heather's eye twitched.

"I'm... going... to... bed..." she stormed out of the room. Tara sighed.

"I wonder why she's so mad.."

Outside, Deadpool was taking in what he just saw.

[Hmmm..] His phone rang, _"I like big butts and I cannot lie..." _Deadpool quickly picked up the phone.

"Hey I got a job for you," a deep muffled voice said.

"Ok, what is it?" DP asked.

"I need you to kill my mom," the voice answered.

"Why?"

"Because she is so freaking annoying. She never lets me stay out past ten!"

"Look, kid, I have more important things to do than help out some brat that doesn't know how to sneak out of the house!"

"Wait! You didn't even let me make my offer, yet!"

"I don't care." Deadpool started to hang up the phone.

"Wait! I can help you save that woman you like!" Deadpool froze. How did that kid know that he liked Heather?

"How do you-"

"I can see the way you look at her, dude," the boy interrupted him.

"How did you know I stare at her?" Deadpool asked suspiciously.

"Dude, you're Deadpool! You're my idol! Once I saw you were in town, I never stopped following you. I saw you blow up that taco place, I saw you meet that girl in the hospital, and I saw you follow her home, dude." Deadpool was taken aback by all the stuff this boy knew.

"OK then. How would you help me save her?"

"I know the assassins that are trying to kill her," he proudly answered.

"YOU DO?"

"Yep. One of them's my sister."

"REALLY?!"

"Yeah. Purple cape, black and white hair. Ring any bells?"

[He really does know them!]

"Hmm, I usually don't resolve personal issues, but this time I'll make an exception. With the circumstances and everything."

"Great! I'll text you the address to where my mom is. Thank you so much, Mr. Deadpool, Sir!"

"Yeah, don't mention it, kid." Deadpool hung up his phone and jumped off the fire escape onto the ground. He looked at the text and headed for the location.

Back inside the apartment, Tara tip-toed to Heather's room. "Heather, you awake?" she whispered. There was no response. "She must be still asleep," she thought to herself. Tara left the room and went home.

**Rose: OK. I'm going to cut it here.**

**Deadpool: Why do you always cut it at the good parts?**

**Rose: What are you talking about?**

**Deadpool: What if Heather's dead of something?!**

**Rose: She's not dead.**

**Deadpool: How do you know? *crosses arms***

**Rose: Because it's MY story!**

**Deadpool: Oh yeah..**

**Rose: Anyway, thanks for reading. Hope you liked this chapter.**

**Deadpool: Why are you all of a sudden acknowledging the readers?**

**Rose: Why are YOU suddenly acknowledging the readers? You haven't said "readers" since chapter one.**

**Deadpool: Touché.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Rose: Good Morning, Afternoon, or whatever time it is you're reading this!**

**Deadpool: ...**

**Rose: What?**

**{He's thinking.}**

**Rose: About what?**

**{You know what. *cough* Heather! *cough*}**

**Rose: Oh. Well are you ready to jump back into the story?**

**Deadpool: Yeah, I guess.**

**Rose: Good, because I have a ton of stuff to write! I think we maybe half way through the story.**

**Deadpool: Really? We're half way through already?**

**Rose: I think so.**

**Deadpool: NO! I have too many things I haven't done, yet! I still have to take Heather out on a date, meet her family, and-**

**Rose: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there! I am not writing a whole fanficton about how you guys meet to how you guys die! No one's gonna read a story that long!**

**Deadpool: OKAY! How about you end this story with a cliffhanger and then we'll make movies for the rest of it.**

**{It's about damn time that someone made a good movie with us!}**

**Rose: I agree with what you guys are saying, but I don't have the money to make you a movie. And even if I did, I would have to ask those Marvel people for permission.**

**Deadpool: You don't need their permission to make a movie about me! I give you permission to make a movie about me!**

**[She would be a excellent person to accomplish it. I mean, look at this fanfic. She's one of the very few who have captured your... unique behavior..]**

**Deadpool: Ikr! She's perfect!**

**Rose: Thanks, but I still can't do it. Sorry, but I would probably get sued.**

**Deadpool: Well, then I'll just go down there and *takes out a gun* have a little talk with them. **

**Rose: NO! Don't do that! If you kill them, you'll die too. Who else is going to pay for all the writing and stuff?**

**[Yeah, bad idea.]**

**{Good point.}**

**Deadpool: Psh! I wasn't going to kill them.. I was simply going to use this gun to motivate them into seeing things my way.**

**Rose: The only person who can "see" things your way are crazy people.**

**[Since you also understands Deadpool's perspectives, then that also makes you crazy?]**

**Rose: Do you see me typing from a mental hospital?**

**[No]**

**Rose: Then I'm not crazy. And since when did you start using fancy words?**

**[I don't know.]**

**Deadpool: You may not be mentally crazy, but you are fangirl crazy.**

**{Good point!}**

**[That's the worst kind of crazy.]**

**Rose: ... I can't argue with that.**

**Deadpool: I knew it!**

**Rose: Anyway, let's start the story, I'm sure your fans are itching to read what happens next!**

**Deadpool: Yeah!**

Deadpool finally had made it to the address that the boy had sent him.

{Why is his mom at a rundown factory?}

[I don't know, but we better watch our backs. This place looks suspiciously creepy.]

"Right!" Deadpool ran to the front door. It was unlocked and slightly opened.

{Should we go in?}

"Absolutely!" Deadpool then ran inside into the factory. It was all but empty except for a single light in the center of the room. He quickly grabbed his guns and started to point them across the room, ready to shoot anyone he saw.

{Where is everyone?}

"That little brat set me up!" He turned to leave when all of a sudden, the doors closed and the windows were covered with medal plates.

[Damn.]

{It's a trap!} Lasers popped out of the walls and took aim at Deadpool.

"Shi-" A laser hit him cutting him off from what he was about to say. "OW!" He screamed in pain. All of the lasers started to shoot at him. He ran out of the way.

{There's nothing we can hide behind}

"I know that!" He flipped out the way of another laser, turned to face it, and shot it with his gun.

[Good idea!]

"Yeah! I know!" Another laser shot him in the arm. "Ouch! That one burned!" He shot out the other laser with his opposite hand. "Five more." He flipped to the left barely missing getting hit by two lasers. He shot out two more at the same time then the other three. "Well, that wasn't so bad," said a relieved Deadpool.

{Yeah. What kind of people set a trap for us with only lasers?}

Unexpectedly, there was a click then two beeps.

{What was that?}

Next, a bomb appeared out of the ground with only ten seconds until it would go off.

[You just HAD to ask?!] Deadpool, now frantic, looked for a way to get out. There were none.

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted him!" The bomb now had five seconds left. Four, three, two, one. The bomb went off with a thunderous explosion.

Inside a small house, not too far away from where Heather lived, the teenage boy called his sister. "Satellites picked up the explosion form the bomb. It... it blew up. He... he's dead.." The boy sadly reported.

"Good. You did a great job, Oliver. " Sai said.

"Yeah, whatever." Oliver hung up the phone. His felt distraught. He had just killed his idol, Deadpool. How could he sleep at night? He slowly walked down the stairs of his house and sat in the kitchen. His mother grabbed her car keys off the counter.

"Ollie, are you alright?" His mother asked him. She really cared for her troubled son and she always worries when he's upset.

"Yeah, mom. I'm fine," he bluntly said.

"Okay then." His mom walked to the front door and put on a jacket.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the store. Your aunt is visiting this weekend for her birthday and I forgot to order her cake. Do you want anything while I'm out?"

"Nah."

"Okay, sweetie. I'll be back." She left. He went back to staring intently at the kitchen wall. The doorbell rang. He slowly stood up and answered the door.

"Heather! You ready, yet!" Tara hollered down the hall.

"I'm not going!" Heather hollered back. Tara marched into Heather's bedroom.

"Come on! The party's about to start and you're not about to make me late!" Heather was still laying in her bed. "Heather, you better get dressed or else!"

"Or else what?" Tara snatched her purse and struck Heather over the head with it.

"Ow!" Heather yelled in pain.

"Are you ready to go, now?"

"To the party? Of course! Give me one second to get dressed!" Heather leaped out of her bed and ran to her closet. Tara smiled and walked away.

"D-D-Deadpool?!" Oliver gasped.

"The one and only." Deadpool pushed Oliver aside and walked inside. "I finished the job, where are the assassins?"

"WHAT?!" Oliver closed the door, "you killed my mom?!"

"Yep. Just like you asked. Now where is your sister?" Deadpool angrily asked.

"I-I didn't really want you to kill my mom." Oliver sat on the couch and put his face in his hands. He looked upset.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then why did you hire me to kill her then?"

"It was all a ruse. My sister wanted me to get rid of you while her and her partner went off to kill their target. I'm sorry." He pleaded. Deadpool looked at Oliver.

"Well," he pulled out a gun, "that was a real stupid thing to do. You know I love her and you let your sister kill her?! Son, you made a real bad f***in' mistake!" Deadpool said in a really deep voice.

"Y-you're going to kill me?"

"Not unless you tell me who hired your sister."

"But I don't know!"

"Well, that's too bad because," he put the gun to his head, "I'm in a killing mood today." Oliver gulped. "Click, click." He teased.

"Wait! I can find out who hired my sister!"

"Ya can?"

"Yeah! I just need my computer!"

"Go and get it!" Deadpool commanded. Oliver quickly jumped off the sofa and ran upstairs to his room. Deadpool followed with his gun still in hand. Oliver opened his laptop.

"All I have to do is hack into my sister's work phone records-that's where people call her if they want a job done-and see who's she been talking to." He proceeded to type on his computer. "Got it!"

"Who is it?"

"Some lady named Mrs. Robinson. If you give me a sec, I can find her address."

"Call me when you get it," said Deadpool, walking away.

"Where are you going?"

"To go check on Heather."

"So, you're not going to kill me?"

"How old are you?"

"Um, fourteen?" Oliver responded, now confused.

"Then no. I don't kill kids."

Heather strutted out of her room wearing a strapless red party dress and silver high-heels with a matching purse. "I'm ready!"

"Okay! Let's go!"

"Hold on! Where's DP? I thought he was coming."

"I... I don't know. I think he left somewhere."

"Oh, well I'll leave him a note in case he comes back."

"Fine! I'll be in the car," said Tara, leaving the residence. After writing the note, Heather quickly left the apartment and hopped in the car with Tara.

Exactly five minutes after the girls left, Deadpool kicked open the door and ran inside. "Heather!" He called.

{It doesn't look like either of them are here.}

"Where could she have gone?" His eyes glanced at the counter where the note was.

{Ooh! A note!} Deadpool picked up the note and started to read it. He smiled.

{What?}

"She dotted her i's with little hearts."

[So, she loves us again? Wow, this girl is bipolar.]

{Where is she?}

"At her friend's party and, get this, she wants ME to come as her date!"

{Awesome! Too bad we won't have time to change. We have to go and save her!}

"Oh Yeah!" Deadpool sprinted out the door and headed for Lilly's house.

Tara pulled up to Lilly's house. "You go ahead inside, I'm going to go find a better parking spot."

"Okay!" Heather walked up the packed drive way. "Lilly sure does know how to throw a wild party!" You could hear the booming music outside. Heather opened the door. Lilly, her friend with the golden blonde hair and purple dress, was crowd surfing. "Lilly what are you doing?" Heather said, walking inside.

"Heather! About time you showed up!" Lilly looked at the people underneath her, "could you guys please put me down?" The guys whined and slowly put her down. "Thanks!" She ran to hug Heather. "How you doin' girl? How's the therapy?"

"It's alright."

"That's good! Hey, where's Tara? There's someone I want you both to meet."

"Parking the car. She shouldn't too long." Tara barged in threw the door.

"And the party don't start 'til I walk in!" Tara shouted.

"Hey, Tara! Get over here! There's someone that I want you to meet!" Lilly led Heather and Tara into the kitchen. In the kitchen, a really pretty woman wearing a glittery blue sleeveless top and blue jeans and sparkly high-heels was in a hot dog eat off competition with a fat shirtless man. "Girls, I'd like for you to meet my cousin, Chloe."

"Hey, ya'll! Just one sec, will ya? I just need to beat ol' Bubba, here." said Chloe with a slight Southern accent.

"Girlie, ya darn know that no one can beat Bubba!" Bubba declared. He had a full Southern accent.

"Well, honey, there's a first time for everythin'!"

"Okay, I'll be back. I'm going to go mingle with a few guys. Buh-Bye!" Tara said dancing towards a group of crazy dancers.

"Heather, where's your new boyfriend, what's his name, Deadpool? Is he coming?" Lilly asked.

"I assumed he had to work and I suppose he'll show up later." Heather hoped.

"Well, let me know when he comes. I'm going to start the karaoke contest."

"There's a karaoke contest?"

"Yeah, I wanted to try something new." Lilly hopped onto the stage. The music got softer and she grabbed a microphone. "Ok, guys! Now's the time for the singing to start! DJ's told me that the equipment is ready and everything's ago! So, who's first?" She looked at the crowd. They were silent. "Anyone brave enough to go first?"

"ME!" A guy finally said.

"Okay, come on up!" She commanded. The guy jumped on the stage. He was wearing a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, but no shoes. "What's your name?"

"Ronnie," he answered.

"Ok, Ron, what are you going to start us off with?"

" 'Dead Silence' by Billy Talent," Ron stated, proud of his choice.

"Um, ok then. Hit it, DJ!" Lilly handed Ron the mic and leaped off the stage. The music started playing.

_"We're living underneath the land of sorrow  
I can hear the bombs rain down!  
And how do I explain there's no tomorrow  
I can hardly make a sound!_

Dead silence!  
A fate we can't escape  
'Til death  
Do us part  
In the end!

They're marching up the main street  
As my heart beats  
Louder then machine gun fire!  
The sound of all the sirens sing like violins  
Rattling the cold barbwire!  
I heard the soldiers say,  
"Don't let them get away!"  
But I could not escape their bullets and grenades  
A casualty of war!  
A victim of mistake!  
Another widow has been made!

Dead silence!  
Will come to rescue me  
When violence!  
Has took this world away  
Dead silence!  
A fate we can't escape  
'Til death  
Do us part  
In the end!

Dead silence!  
Will come to rescue me  
When violence!  
Has took this world away  
Dead silence!  
No time to be afraid  
My love  
I will see  
You again

Hey!  
Hey!  
Hey!  
Hey!

Fly away like the wind  
Some things God can't forgive  
Why is war justified  
While the innocent die

They can tear us apart  
I'll still live in your heart  
If your spirit gives up  
Don't surrender your love

And the world will survive  
If we stand side by side  
One day hope will arrive  
Now I must say goodbye

Dead silence!  
Will come to rescue me  
When violence!  
Has took this world away  
Dead silence!  
I think we can't escape  
'Til death  
Do us part  
In the end!

Dead silence!  
Will come to rescue me  
When violence!  
Has took this world away  
Dead silence!  
No time to be afraid  
My love  
I will see  
You again

Dead silence!  
When violence!  
Dead silence!

Dead silence!  
When violence!  
Dead silence!

Dead silence!  
When violence!  
Dead silence!"

He shouted. Not sung, shouted. Lilly went back into the kitchen. Chloe was comforting Bubba.

"It's ok. There's a first time for everythin', right?" Chloe said softly.

"B-but I never lose! Never, never, never!" Bubba complained.

"Well, ya did. So, get over it!"

"I assume Chloe won? Figures." Lilly spoke. "Did Deadpool come yet?"

"Nope." Heather said, disappointed. "I think he might be too busy to come." The front door opened. It was Deadpool! "Baby!" Heather ran over to DP and gave him a huge hug. "I missed you so much!" she said.

"I could tell," he joked.

"So, THIS is the infamous Deadpool! Nice to finally meet you!" Lilly welcomed him.

{"Infamous"?!}

"Nice to finally me you, too!" Deadpool leaned to Heather, "Who is she?"

"This is Lilly," was Heather's answer.

"OH! Lilly! Isn't this your party? It's nice!"

"Thanks. This year, I've decided to do a karaoke contest. Speaking of which," Lilly hopped back onto the stage. "Give it up for Ronnie!" The audience gave him an applause.

"WE'RE CLAPPING BECAUSE IT'S OVER!" A rude party member shouted.

"Moving on," Lilly started again, "After a brief intermission, I will have the next constestant sing their song. But for now, cue the music, DJ!" The DJ nodded and started playing LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem".

"Are you going to sing?" Deadpool asked Heather.

"Who? Me? No." she answered.

"Why? You're good! You should sing!"

"How do you know that I'm a good singer?"

"I heard you in the shower."

"So you did."

{Guilty as charged.} Lilly strolled over to Heather.

"That's a great idea! You should totally sing! You're one of the greatest singers I know!" Lilly added.

"Look, guys, I'm flattered but I can't sing."

"Don't try to hide it! I heard you sing in the shower, myself!" The Merc with the Mouth claimed.

"I know but, I'm not brave enough to sing in front of a crowd," Heather insisted.

"How about you sing with someone? Would that help?" Lilly asked.

"Maybe."

"Alright then! We'll just have to find someone for you to sing with." Lilly looked at Deadpool.

"What?" he asked.

"You should totally sing with your girlfriend! That would be so cute!"

"Um, well, I..." he stuttered.

"It would be nice if you would," Heather smiled.

"Ok, I'll sing with you. But it would only be fair to warn you that I'm not the best singer."

"Don't worry about it. I won't mind!"

"Awesome! I'll just go introduce you guys!" Lilly said, jumping back on the stage. "Alrighty, people! We've got some more contenders! Come on up, guys!" Heather grabbed Deadpool's hand and ran into the stage. "Okay, what song are you love birds singing?"

"Um, what song do you want to sing?" Heather asked Deadpool.

"I don't care," he replied.

"Ok then. We'll sing 'I Can't Take My Eyes Off of You' by HSM."

"Aw, that's so adorable! Hit it, DJ!" Lilly commanded.

"Hitting it!" the DJ replied as he started the song. Lilly gave both of them microphones.

"Have fun!" She jumped back off the stage.

**Deadpool: Seriously! High School Musical?**

**Rose: MUHAHAHAHAHA!**

**{Remember, you're doing this for Heather!}**

**Deadpool: ...**

The music starts...

_(Deadpool:) " Ya never know what you're gonna feel, oh  
Ya never see it comin' suddenly it's real"_

(Heather:) "Oh, never even crossed my mind, no  
That I would ever end up here tonight, ohh

(Both:) "All things change  
When you don't expect them to  
No one knows  
What the future's gonna do  
(Heather:) "I never even noticed  
That you've been there all along!

(Both:) "I can't take my eyes off of you!  
I know you feel the same way too, yeah!  
I can't take my eyes off of you!  
All it took . . . Was one look  
For a dream come true  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh whoa

_(Deadpool:) "Yeah, we got a good thing goin' on"_

(Heather:) "Oh! Right here is right where we belong"

(Both:) "You never really know what you might find  
Now all I see is you and I"  
You're everything I never knew  
(Heather:) "That I've been looking for!

(Both:) "I can't take my eyes off of you!  
I know you feel the same way too, yeah!  
I can't take my eyes off of you!  
All it took . . . Was one look  
For a dream come true

(Deadpool:) "Can't take my eyes off of you!"  
(Both:) "Oh, oh, oh yeah"

_(Deadpool:) "Oh, oh, oh!"  
(Heather:)" So let the music play!"  
(Deadpool:)"Can't take my eyes off of you!"  
(Heather:)"Yeah, the feeling's getting' stronger!  
(Both:) "And I never ever felt this way!_

Alright, I see everything  
In your eyes. . .  
Alright, something's happening  
Cause everyone's around but  
You're the only one I see!

_I can't take my eyes off of you!  
I know you feel the same way too, yeah!  
I can't take my eyes off of you!  
All it took . . . Was one look  
For a dream come true_

_I can't take my eyes off of you!_

_Feelings like I never knew  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
From the start. . . Got my heart  
Yeah, you do  
Can't take my eyes off you!"_

Everyone clapped. "THAT'S HOW YOUR SUSPOSED TO SING, RONNIE!" The rude voice screamed.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" Ronnie screamed back.

Lilly ran back on stage, "That was amazing! I loved it!"

"Thanks, Lilly!" The two girls hugged each other. Tara barged on stage.

"Give me the mic," she demanded.

"You wanna sing?" Heather asked.

"Of course! I love singing! And, not to brag or anything but, I'm really good!"

"Ok. What are you singing?" Lilly asked.

" 'Last Friday Night' by Katy Perry." Lilly leaned over to Tara.

"Are you sure you wanna sing? I mean, you're not the best.."

"Hell yeah, I'm singing!" Tara snatched the mic out of Lilly's hands. "Start the music!"

Lilly, Heather, and Deadpool walked off the stage. "Is she always like that?" Deadpool asked the girls.

"Only when there's a large group of people staring at her. She loves attention," Heather informed him.

The music started...

_"There's a stranger in my bed,  
There's a pounding my head  
Glitter all over the room  
Pink flamingos in the pool  
I smell like a minibar  
DJ's passed out in the yard  
Barbies on the barbeque_

This a hickie or a bruise?  
Pictures of last night  
Ended up online  
I'm screwed!  
Oh well...  
It's a blacked out blur  
But I'm pretty sure it ruled  
Damn...

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, we danced on tabletops  
And we took too many shots  
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, we maxed our credit cards  
And got kicked out of the bar  
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night!  
We went streaking in the park  
Skinny dipping in the dark  
Then had a ménage a trois

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, I think we broke the law  
Always say we're gonna stop-op  
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night  
Do it all again  
This Friday night  
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots  
Don't know what to tell my boss  
Think the city towed my car  
Chandelier is on the floor  
Ripped my favorite party dress  
Warrants out for my arrest  
Think I need a ginger ale  
That was such an epic fail

Pictures of last night  
Ended up online  
I'm screwed!  
Oh well...  
It's a blacked out blur  
But I'm pretty sure it ruled  
Damn...

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, we danced on table tops  
And we took too many shots  
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, we maxed our credits card  
And got kicked out of the bars  
So we hit the boulevards

Last Friday night!  
We went streaking in the park  
Skinny dipping in the dark  
Then had a ménage a trois  
Yeah, I think we broke the law  
Always say we're gonna stop-op  
Oh whoa oh

This Friday night  
Do it all again  
Do it all  
This Friday night  
Do it all again  
Do it all  
This Friday night

T.G.I.F.!  
T.G.I.F.!  
T.G.I.F.!  
T.G.I.F.!  
T.G.I.F.!  
T.G.I.F.!

_T.G.I.F!_

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, we danced on table tops  
And we took too many shots  
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night!  
Yeah, we maxed our credit cards  
And got kicked out of the bar  
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night!  
We went streaking in the park  
Skinny dipping in the dark  
Then had a ménage a trois

Last Friday night!  
Yeah I think we broke the law  
Always say we're gonna stop  
Oh-whoa-oh  
This Friday night  
Do it all again!"

Lilly walked back onstage, "Let's give her a hand!" The partiers slowly started to clap.

"Thank you! Thank you!"

"YOU SUCK!" The rude voice returned.

"NO! YOU SUCK!" Tara screamed. She strutted off the stage.

"Anyone else wanna go?" Lilly asked. Chloe hopped on stage.

"We could go," she said.

"Ok. I'm down with that. It's been a while since we last sung." Lilly walked over to the DJ. "We're singing 'Give It Up' by Elizabeth Gillies & Ariana Grande. "

The music started...

(Lilly:) "Someday I'll let you in  
Treat you right  
Drive you outta your mind, Oooh "

(Chloe:) "You never met a chick like me  
Burn so bright  
I'm gonna make you blind"

_(Both:)_  
"Always want what you can't have  
Is it so bad if you don't get what you wanted?  
Make you feel good  
As I whip you  
Into shape, ya boy  
Let's get it started!

Give it up  
You can't win  
Cause I know where you've been  
Such a shame  
You don't put up a fight!  
That's a game that we play  
At the end of the night  
It's the same old story  
But you never get it right  
Give it up!

Come a little closer  
Baby, baby  
Come a little closer  
Come a little closer  
Baby, baby!"

(Lilly:) "So stop trying to walk away  
No you won't ever leave me behind"

(Chloe:) "Noooo!  
You better believe that I'm here to stay,"

(Lilly:) "That's right!"

(Chloe:) "Cause you're the shade and I'm the sunshine  
Ooooohh!"

_(Both:)_  
"Look at me boy  
'Cause I got you  
Where I want you  
Isn't it so exciting?  
Wanna shake you  
Wanna break you  
Take a backseat boy  
Cause now I'm driving!

Give it up  
You can't win  
Cause I know where you've been  
Such a shame  
You don't put up a fight!  
That's a game that we play  
At the end of the night  
It's the same old story  
But you never get it right!  
Give it up!

A oooh yeaaah  
Ah oooho heeey"

(Chloe:) "Hey yeah yeah yeah oooooh!"

_(Both:)_  
"Come a little closer  
Come a little closer  
Baby, baby  
Come a little closer  
Come a little closer  
Baby, baby!  
Come a little closer  
Come a little closer,  
Baby  
If you are my baby  
Then I'll make you crazy tonight!

Look at me boy  
'Cause I got you  
Where I want you  
Isn't it so exciting?  
Wanna shake you  
When I break you  
Take a backseat boy  
Cause now I'm driving!

Give it up  
You can't win  
Cause I know where you've been  
Such a shame  
You don't put up a fight!  
That's a game that we play  
At the end of the night  
It's the same old story  
But you never get it right!  
Give it up  
Ohhhh  
YEAH!

The crowd screamed wildly. "SING ANOTHER SONG!" The rude voice hollered over the crowd.

"Um, after the next song," said Lilly. Both of the girls ran off stage.

"You guys were great!" said Heather giving the girls a hug.

"Thanks" they said in unison.

"Are you guys thirsty?" Lilly asked.

"Yeah!" They all said.

"Okay, I'll go get you guys some drinks. Back in a sec."

"I'll help," Tara offered.

"Okay thanks!" Tara followed Lilly into the kitchen. There was already a small group of teens joking around and drinking. Lilly walked to the punch bowl and poured some into two cups. "I only have two hands, can you get the rest, please?"

"Sure, no prob. You go ahead, I'll be right behind you."

"Ok." Lilly walked back to the group. "Here you go," she said handing Chloe a drink. Tara walked back to the group and handed Heather and Deadpool a drink.

"Thanks!" said a grateful Deadpool. He then pulled up his mask halfway and dunk his drink in one gulp. Everyone else started to drink theirs. Heather stopped and held her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked.

"My stomach... it hurts." Heather answered. Deadpool looked dizzy. "Are you ok?"

"N-no..." he weakly ansered.

[Oh no..]

"What's wrong?"

"I-it-it's..." Deadpool fell on the ground. He was unconscious.

"Deadpool!" Heather yelled. Chloe screamed in panic.

"If his drink was spiked with alcohol, he shouldn't have passed out after only having a little bit!" Chole panicked. Heather held her head then passed out on the ground.

"Heather!" the girls screamed.

"Okay, something's fishy. Heather doesn't pass out after only one drink," Tara informed the group. Tara picked up Heather. "Can someone help me with Deadpool?! I'm taking both of them to the hospital!"

"I got him!" A lady that was wearing an all black outfit and had black hair with white highlights picked up Deadpool under his arms.

"Thanks. Can you help me put them in my car?"

"Sure." The two girls carried both of the passed out victims to Tara's car. After placing both of them in the car the two girls got in the front seat.

"Call me when you get some news! I have to wait for some of the partiers to move their cars. I'm boxed in!" Lilly hollered.

"Alright!" Tara called back. She started her car and drove away.

**Rose: Okay, guys! I'm going to end this very long chapter here. Thanks for reading! And sorry Deadpool's not here to say something weird or funny. He's too busy being passed out in the back of a car.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Rose: Sup, guys and gals! I have a little announcement for ya! I had to change the wording in the last chapter because when I reread it, it didn't spread the message that I wanted to send clearly and because I found a few errors that I needed to change at the end of the chapter (after the last song). This is a lesson for all you story writers, don't proofread your work at midnight in your head while you're tired. If you've done it before, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, good. NOW, ON WITH THE STORY!**

Tara sped down a dirt road located in the middle of nowhere. "We're almost there," the girl with the white highlights spoke into her phone.

One hour later...

{Ugh, what happened? Where are we!?}

Deadpool opened his eyes. He found himself inside a colossal sized medal warehouse filled with wooden crates. He was tied to a chair with metal chains restraining his arms and legs. "Ugh..." he mumbles, still weak.

{What was the last thing we did?}

[We were singing, then drinking, then we passed out.]

{Whatever we had, it did not feel like alcohol..}

[It was poison.]

{How dare they poison us!... Who poisoned us?}

"I don't know, but we're going to find out... after we get out.."

"Oh, you're not getting out of here alive." Sai stated as she walked toward Deadpool.

"Am I supposed to know you?" asked Deadpool.

"You don't know me, but I know you," said Sai with an evil smirk on her face.

{Someone say "stalker"!}

[Stalker.]

"You're my stalker? Awww, I didn't know you cared!" Sai rolled her eyes, grabbed a can of gasoline from the inside of a crate, and started to pour it all over the floor.

{Hey! What is she doing?}

[She's going to burn us.]

{Say what?!}

Sai pointed at the floor, "Blade, we need more gasoline!"

"Alright, alright. I'm comin'," Blade walked out of the shadows, carrying Heather, and placed her on a crate. She looked to be unconscious.

"Hey! What did you do to her!?" Deadpool screamed.

"Relax, we didn't do anything to her, yet. Our boss wants her body dead but still in contact. So, we can't burn her but we sure as hell can burn you." Blade handed Sai two more containers of gasoline. "You finish dousing the place while I finish what I didn't."

"I don't know how you survived Blade's sword and the bomb, but you won't survive this," she said, pouring gas over the floor then him.

{That's what she thinks.}

[Apparently, she still doesn't know about our healing factor.]

"Yeah," Deadpool agreed. Blade pulled out his sword and sliced Deadpool's head clean off.

"Let's go," she said.

"Ok." Blade picked up Heather and ran outside to where a helicopter was waiting. He jumped in. Sai pulled a lighter out of her belt and ignited the gas. She then ran outside to meet up with Blade. The helicopter flew away.

Five hours later...

Deadpool had made it, somewhat, safely back to his apartment. "I have got to stop letting my guard down! That's the second time those assassins caught me."

{It's not our fault. Heather makes us feel all safe and warm inside.}

"Hey, speaking of warm, I can't wait until we rescue her and get another hug from Heather!" said an excited DP as he changed of his burned and tattered costume and into a fresh new one.

{And possibly something else!}

"Yeah!" Deadpool grabbed a bunch of guns, ammo, knifes, bombs, and his swords. "Let's do this!" He said using his deep voice again.

At a secret underground facility, Heather was laying motionless on a surgery table where a male doctor in green scrubs was preparing for surgery. "How long is the procedure going to take?" asked Tara.

"Not long after I start," the doctor replied.

"Ok, good. Get to work, then!" Tara walked out of the surgery room. The assassins were waiting outside for her.

"Where's our paycheck?" Sai asked with her right hand on her hip.

"What paycheck?" Tara asked with an eyebrow raised.

"The one we get for killing Deadpool." Tara laughed then maliciously smacked Sai across the face.

"You don't get any money! I said once you killed Heather and brought her back to the lab then you'll get paid! And you failed! I had to kill her myself! What kind of assassin can't even kill a human with no powers or special abilities?! You guys are the worst assassins I've ever hired!"

"But, Mrs. Robinson, you said that-"

"I know what I said! I'll pay you after you kill Deadpool."

"Well, guess what. Blade and I just finished him off before we brought Heather in!" Sai bragged.

"Oh really?" A distant boom was heard followed by the alarm blaring down the hall. An army of soldiers ran towards the noise.

"We have an intruder in section three!" A soldier shouted.

"You better pray that that's NOT Deadpool or else I will cut off both of your heads!" Tara shouted. The two assassins looked at each other and then followed the men down the corridor.

****** (Five minutes earlier..)**

Deadpool crept up behind an armed henchman and cut off his head.

{Screw stealth! WE NEED TO SAVE HEATHER FAST!}

"You're right!" Deadpool took out two machine guns and aimed them at two unsuspecting guards.

[If we don't do this silently, they might KILL her.]

"Oh, good point." He put his machine guns away and silently killed the rest of the guards. "Now, how do I get in?"

[There is an opened door right over there.]

{That's the way they want us to go. It's obviously a trap. I know how we can get in..}

DP darted to a wall and placed all of his bombs on it.

[That's waaaay too many bombs.]

"The more the merrier!" Wade pressed a oversized red button and the whole wall blew off. "Now, kids, THAT'S how you break into a secret H.Q. that stole your girlfriend!"

[And alert every single person in the facility.]

A dozen of armed henchmen took aim at Deadpool, "Don't move or we'll shoot!"

"Waste him, you idiots!" Sai commanded. The men obeyed her and blasted Deadpool with their laser guns. DP simply threw a bunch of bombs and threw them at the hench-people making them explode. The bodies were replaced with gush of blood and a cloud of smoke.

"Oh, how we love explosions!"

{And hot babes!}

"Oh, yes! Especially babes!" Out of the smoke, jumped out an angry Sai with (obviously) sais in her hand.

"DIE!" Sai screeched. She brought her sais down on Deadpool's head, but he quickly grabbed his own sais and cut her hands off. Sai cried in pain as she fell to the ground.

"Need a hand... or two?" Deadpool joked.

{Haha! That joke never gets old!}

[Look out! Behind us!]

"What?" Deadpool glanced around the surrounding area of the H.Q. "Where?" A blade slashed Deadpool in the chest, then in a puff of smoke disappeared.

{What the hell was that?!}

[It must of been that ninja assassin.] The blade returned, this time stabbing Deadpool in the gut then he disappeared again. He stooped over in agonizing pain. The ninja reappeared.

{Alright! Another bullet-time slo-mo scene!}

[Don't screw up this, ok?]

"I won't. I won't." Deadpool snatched out his pistols and shot at the ninja in the head. The ninja, again, disappeared in another cloud of smoke, dodging the bullets. "Oh, come on, Pointy! Why won't you let me kill you!" Blade, again, came into sight. He was holding two double-bladed swords. "Whoa! Those look so cool!" Blade charged at him. DP shot at Blade but he evaded with a series of flips and tumbles.

{Wow, this guy is putting up more of a fight than the girl!}

Blade sliced off Deadpool's right arm. "How many times is someone going to cut off my right arm? Oww!" Blade was about to slice off his other arm but was shot in the gut. "Die! Die! Die!" Wade shouted shooting him three more times in the gut. Blade fell to the ground, presumably dead. Deadpool reattached his dismembered arm. "HIYA!" Sai flipped towards Deadpool and tried to kick him in the face but he countered by grabbing her foot and breaking her knee by shooting it. "You just never quit do you?" He dropped her on her head. "Now to save Heather!" He darted inside the building.

{Which way do we go?}

"Deadpool!" Screamed a familiar voice.

"Tara?!" Tara ran down the hall headed for Deadpool with an arm covered in blood.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"These guys jumped me!" she claimed.

"What happened after I passed out?"

"After you passed out, Heather wanted to take you to a hospital but before she could, she passed out, too! When I realized that both of you were poisoned, I rushed you both to the hospital, but on my way there, those assassins abducted us and took me and Heather here. I thought you were dead!"

"WHERE IS SHE?" he said like the Christian Bale Batman.

"Oh, she's in that room over there." Tara pointed to a metal door down the hall. Deadpool ran to the door. Tara chased after him, "But it's heavily guarded!"

"Did you not just see me take out all those guards and assassins outside?! Where have you been, girl? Under a rock for the pass eighteen minutes?"

"No, I was trying to find help while fighting for my LIFE!" Deadpool ran in front of the giant door. It was locked.

"Heather! Don't worry, babe, I'll have you out of there in sec!"

"How are you going to open it? Hack it?"

"Hell no! That would take too long!" Deadpool attached a bomb to the door. He jumped back, "Yippie kay yay, mother-!" The door exploded.

"So that was you making all of the explosions?"

"Yeah."

{Duh! Who else?}

Deadpool ran inside the dark room, "I don't see her. Where'd she go?" Tara walked up behind him.

"I don't know.." She said.

"But you said she was in here!" screamed a frustrated Deadpool. He turned around, facing her. "What are you-" A pink blast energy to the face cut him off. He fell to the ground. "Why did you.." He moaned in pain, "Why did you do that?" He looked up at her. Tara was now wearing silver metal gloves on each hand.

"Because you're interfering with the experiment!"

"What experiment?"

"The one I'm performing on Heather."

"Why are you experimenting on her?!"

"Who else would do it? Certainly not me!"

"You selfish bitch! Heather's been nothing but nice to you and this is how you repay her?!" He pulled out his machine guns and started to shoot. Tara used her newly acquired powers to fly out of the path of the bullets. Deadpool ran for the door.

"Oh, no, no, Deadpool. I'm not done with you, yet." Tara pressed a button on a remote that made an electric fence surround the doorway.

[Aren't you going to make a joke about-]

{Nah, it would be waayy too easy!}

Deadpool quickly spun around and threw his sais at her. Tara easily dodged. She looked back at Deadpool, "That all you got?..." Deadpool was gone. "Where did he go?" she asked herself.

A loud thud echoed though out the room. Where did it come from? Tara looked left, then right. No Deadpool. "BUNZ EYEEEEEEE!" She looked up. Deadpool fell right on top of her.

"OWWW!" He snatched off her gloves and threw them to other side of the room.

"I'm gonna give you one last chance. WHERE IS HEATHER!" demanded Deadpool with a sai pressed against her neck. Tara thought about his question.

"Fine! I'll show you where she REALLY is." Deadpool slowly got off of Tara, still with his sai pointed at her. Tara stood up. She pressed a few buttons on her controller and the electric fence disappeared. Deadpool nudged her with the tip of his sai telling her to hurry up! "Okay! Okay!" She quickly walked out the doorway, with Deadpool in tow, and opened a door diagonally from the room they were just in. Heather was on a surgeon's table with the surgeon putting stitches on her abdomen.

"Hey, asshole!" shouted an enraged Deadpool. The doctor tuned to look at him.

"Who- who are you?" the man asked.

"Your worst nightmare!"

"Oh no!" the man shouted, "You're that banana that keeps singing 'I'm a Banana' and hitting me with a baseball bat?!"

"What?! No! That's your worst nightmare?" The frightened doctor nodded in agreement. "Wow... you really need to rethink that. Not only are you stupid for having nightmares about bananas but you also don't have nightmares about me! Which is what you should be afraid of, ME!"

"I-I am afraid of you. Just not as much as Mrs. Robinson!" The doctor quivered in fear.

{He's afraid of a girl?! HAHAHAHA!}

[HAHAHAHAHA!]

"BWHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Who are you laughing at?"

"You, dude! You're afraid of a banana and a woman! HAHAHAHA! Who the hell is Mrs. Robinson, anyway?"

"I am!" said a voice next to him. Deadpool glanced at Tara. Deadpool pushed her onto the ground and aimed his gun at her head.

"Don't move!" yelled Deadpool. The doctor tried to sneak to a window. With a flick of the wrist, Deadpool flung his sai through the man's forearm and into the wall. The poor man let out a blood curdling scream as blood oozed from his arm. With a gun still pointed at Tara, Deadpool walked to Heather. "Heather?" he whispered softly into her ear. Wade lightly shook her arm. "Wake up!" Deadpool carefully picked up her arm and checked her pulse. She had one. "We're leaving!" said Deadpool, gently lifted her off the table bridal style and headed for the door.

"You won't get far! I already alerted all of the guards!"

"I think I killed all of the guards..." Angry, Tara slammed her fist on a button on her belt, setting off an alarm.

"You can't get out! The whole place is on lockdown! MUHAHAHAHA!"

"Lady, what is wrong with you?" Deadpool shot Tara in the face ten times and the doctor five times. The gun shots jolted Heather awake.

"Wha... what happened?...where are we?..." she said faintly.

"BABE, YOU'RE AWAKE!" Deadpool kissed her. She blushed.

"Uh, what's that loud buzzing?" Heather asked, drawing attention away from her blushing face.

{She wants us.}

[Indeed.]

"The alarm went off. Don't worry, babe. I got this." Deadpool ran out the door. "Um, which way should I go?"

{LEFT!}

[RIGHT!]

"Going left!" He made a sharp left. Giant green blob-like creatures charged toward him. "NOT LEFT! NOT LEFT!" He quickly spun around and sprinted off in the opposite direction.

"Ew! What are those things?" Heather asked.

"Giant boogers!"

"EW! Someone really made those things out of snot!?"

"I don't know. It just looks like boogers to me." Deadpool grabbed a grenade and threw it behind him. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" He ran down another hallway just before it exploded. Green slime splattered against the hallway.

"That looks soooooo nasty! I- I think I'm going to be sick..." Heather's face turned green.

"Please keep all arms, legs, and vomit it the ride at all times. Thank you!" Oversized footsteps stomped down the corridor behind them. Heather peeked over Deadpool's shoulder.

"OH GOD! IT'S SOME KIND OF SUMO WRESTLER VAMPIRE THINGY!"

"One question: is it sparkly?"

"No, but it is flying right towards us!"

{What were they experimenting for, anyway?}

Deadpool threw more bombs behind him. "How many explosives do you have?!" Heather asked.

"I don't know. I thought I used all of them already. Ha! Guess not!" The explosion caused the walls to cave in. "Oops.." Deadpool kicked open a door and ran inside. Rubble fell in front of the door, trapping them inside. The area inside the room was dark with the exception of a red flashing light. Deadpool gently sat Heather on the floor and started examining the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for a way out."

"You mean we're trapped in here?!"

"No! No! We're not trapped... we're just boxed in a room with no way out." Heather started to breathe heavily and rapidly. He looked at her, "Are you okay?"

"NO! There's no way out! WEAREGOINGTODIEHERE!" she screamed as she started to shake. Deadpool knelt next to her.

"Heather," he said softly," Do you, by any chance, have claustrophobia?" She nodded. "Oh..."

{What are we going to do?!}

[We have to calm her down. Try asking her some questions to get her mind off our current situation.]

"Great idea, brain! Heather, tell me about your childhood." He asked like a therapist. She gave him a look a look that said, "why?"

He rubbed her arm, "Just trust me."

Heather looked at the floor, "O-okay.. um, I was born in Sydney, Australia but I grew up in California.."

"That's good. You're doing great! Why did you move to California?" said Deadpool as he examined the room again.

"My dad's job transferred him to California, "

Deadpool nodded his head, "That's it! Keep going! Tell me about your parents." He pulled out some C4 and started to plant them in the corner of the room. Heather became very quiet. He turned around. She looked to be asleep. His eyes widened, "Heather!" Wade ran to her. "Heather, wake up!" He shook her awake. "Baby, you can't fall asleep. You have to stay awake."

"But I'm so... tired..."

"I know that but listen, you ingested some poison so, if you fall asleep might not wake back up. You gotta keep talking."

"Easy for you to say..."

He chuckled, "Just don't stop talking, okay?"

"Fine.."

"Good. Tell me what you did for your tenth birthday."

[Wow. That's specific.]

"Um, my parents took me to Six Flags.."

"Why do you remember that so clearly?"

"Huh?" Heather asked with a baffled expression on her face.

"Nothing. I was just messing with ya. What's your favorite food?" asked Deadpool, setting the timers on the C4.

"Pizza, cake, junk food. "

"Why? The cake's a lie."

"Well, not my mom's cake. Every year on my birthday my mom always made me one.." She smiled, "she was the best cook ever.."

" 'Was'?"

"Yeah... she's dead now.." said a depressed Heather.

"I'm sorry.." Deadpool finally finished setting the bombs. "We have three seconds.."

"Three seconds until what?"

"Until this!" Deadpool ran back to Heather and shielded her body from the explosion with his. The wall crumbled.

"We're free!" Heather tried to stand up but she quickly fell back over.

"Easy, babe. You need to rest. I'll carry you." Deadpool picked Heather back up.

"Are you sure you know where we're going?"

"Yes."

{No.}

[You're such a liar!]

"Okay, fine! I don't know where we're going! Those sumpires and blobs chased me way from the hole I made to get in here." said Deadpool walking out of his newly created hole.

" 'Sumpires'?"

"Yeah. Sumo mixed with vampires. Sumpires."

"Hmm, creative."

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Um...Sure? But only if you answer one for me."

"Alright. You go first."

"Well, okay. This may sound rude but, do you like being schizophrenic?"

Deadpool cocked his head to the right, "What ever do you mean?"

[We know she means!]

{How did she know?}

"Well, when we first met, you said that you were talking to voices you heard in your head. And it doesn't look like it bothers you at all."

"Actually it doesn't! Those guys in my head are hilarious and they love my jokes!"

[No we don't...]

Her eyes widened, "Really? You don't care?"

"Yep! I'm never alone with them!"

{Stop lying! You know we're lonely!}

[Honesty is the best policy.]

{Screw honesty! Look were that got us before! If we tried to pick her up three days ago, she would have called the police and said that we were trying to rape her!}

"Oh.."

"Now for my question: why do you take therapy?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Hey, you said that you would answer one personal question so-"

Heather interrupted him," Okay! Okay! I have D.I.D."

{Did?}

[Not "did", "D.I.D."]

{What's that?}

[Dissociative Identity Disorder.]

{What's that?}

[*sigh* Multiple Personality Disorder.]

{Then why they don't call it MPD}

[It used to be called that but it got changed.]

{Why?}

[I don't know. You guys changed the channel before I found out.]

{I can't believe you were watching that on tv.}

"Really?" Deadpool asked.

"Yep. The doctor said, as of two days ago, that I had three different personalities."

"Mind telling me how you got those personalities?"

"Childhood trauma."

"What trauma?" Heather looked at the floor. "I'm sorry I asked."

"My uncle abused me as a kid." Deadpool froze in his steps.

"He did?"

"Yeah.."

"Physical or sexual?"

"Physical!"

"Okay! Just asking! What kind of personalities?"

"Um, according to my doctor's notes, there's a personality I used to endure my uncle's violence and a personality that is flirtatious-I got that one years after his abuse- and... I can't remember the other right now.."

"It's alright. Do you remember how he abused you?"

"Um, I remember he usually beat me... he shot me once or twice and the rest is a blank."

"Is that why you freaked out when you thought I was going to shoot you?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh.." Deadpool resumed walking. The snarl of some kind of creature echoed throughout the corridor.

"What the hell was that?"

{That sounds like us after an all you can eat burrito night at Ben's Burritos.}

Deadpool looked around for the source of the noise. "I don't know, but I don't wanna find out!" A sign that read, "aircrafts " caught his eye.

{AWESOME! We get to fly another plane!}

Heather started to doze off. "Heather! Wake up!" screamed Deadpool, shaking her awake. "We're almost home free!" Heather woke back up.

"I don't think I can stay awake much longer..." A roar of the creature echoed once more, this time louder.

{It's getting closer!}

Deadpool put Heather on the floor. She slummed against the wall. "Heather... um... sing a song or something.."

{Anything BUT HSM!}

"Yeah, anything but HSM, okay?"

"But.. I can't.."

"Can't what?"

"I can't sing!"

[Déjà` vu!]

{What's that mean?}

[It's French for "already seen".]

{...}

[It's means "I've seen this all before."]

{OOOOOOHHH!}

"We already had this conversation before!"

[Maybe that was-]

"I heard you sing before! Twice!" Deadpool argued.

"That wasn't me.."

[Remember, she has DID.]

"Oh yeah... I forgot... Just sing anyway."

"Why?..."

"Since you're too tired to talk, I have to keep you awake somehow." Deadpool walked to the giant medal door.

Heather sighed, thought for a second, and started to sing halfheartedly, _"Crazy... I'm crazy for feeling so lonely ...I'm crazy for so blue.."_

"Keep going, babe. That's my jam!"

{She's so... perfect!}

[You can say that again.]

{She's so... perfect!}

_"I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted.." _she continued_. _

Deadpool smiled and examined the large door. "Some C4 should blow this thing wide open!"

[We don't have any more C4.]

{WHAT?!}

"WHAT!? How could I have run out already!?"

[Well, you did put five tons of explosives of everything you blew up!]

"Well I guess I can..." Deadpool paused once Heather stopped singing. He looked at her. She once again was asleep. He darted to her. "Heather! Heather!" cried Deadpool, shaking her. She opened her eyes halfway. "Heather, wake up!"

"I... I don't think... I'm... going to... make it, Deadpool.."

"No, baby, you will! I almost got the door opened. Just sing another song, okay?"

"But my head hurts... and everything hurts... and... I just can't... anymore.." Heather pleaded. She started to close her eyes.

"Heather, listen to me! You can't close your eyes! You'll fall asleep if you do!"

"Ohhh... sleep sounds good right now.." She closed her eyes.

{We're losing her!}

Deadpool used his fingers and manually opened her eyes. She weakly smacked his hand. "I wanna go to sleep..."

"No." Deadpool started thinking.

[How are we going to get her to stay awake?]

{We could hit her.}

[...]

{Not that kind of hit her! I mean hit her in the head.}

[Why would we do that?!]

{Because that's how she switches personalities! Duh!}

[Last time she got hit in the head, she started flirting with us!]

{Ohh! That's better!}

[No it's not!]

A light bulb lit up in Deadpool's head. "I got it!" He reached into his holster and pulled out a pistol and took aim at her head. "Heather," he called. She slowly looked at him. As soon she saw the gun she panicked.

"WHAT? WHY? I THOUGHT..." she scooted away from him. "Please... no... not again...don't.." Tears fell down her face.

"Dammit... I didn't mean to make her cry."

{She did not act like that the first time we held a gun to her head.}

[She also wasn't poisoned the first time we held a gun to her head.]

"Well, she's awake, now.." Deadpool aimed his gun at the door's finger scanner and shot all of his bullets into it. The door malfunctioned and opened. "Okay, Heather, we can go now. Heather?"

{She's crawling away.}

Deadpool sprinted to her and picked her up bridal style again. She screamed and then B-slapped his face, "Let me go!"

"Ow! Damn, you can slap hard!" She continued to slap his face. He ignored her the best he could. She sucker punched him in the face. DP stumbled back a few steps before regaining his balance. "Ow! Bad, Heather! Bad!" She grabbed his gun out of his holster.

"Put me down or I'll kill you!" Deadpool froze.

{Her tough voice sounds sooooo sexy!}

"Heather, put my gun down." He calmly said.

She held it to his face, "What? Do you think just because I'm a girl I won't shoot or because I'm a girl, I don't know how to use a gun?"

[None of those thoughts come to mind.]

Deadpool's eyes widened, "Heather. Babe. Just calm down. I know you're just paranoid but-" Heather shot him straight through the head. They both toppled to the hard metal floors. His blood poured out of his head. Heather started breathing heavily. The poison was starting to mess with her lungs. She looked around the room for an escape route. There were many planes, jets, and helicopters to choose from. She tried to stand but was too weak to. So, she started to crawl to the closest aircraft she could find, the jet. Luckily for her, the door was left open. She quickly climbed inside. Another growl was heard. The creature was right behind her! She screamed and crawled to the cockpit.

"W-where's the 'close all doors button' ?!" said a frantic Heather looking around the dashboard. Gun shots echoed through the room. She glanced out the window. Deadpool had finished shooting the monster and headed for the door to the jet.

{Did anyone know she could REALLY use a gun!?}

[Nope.]

"Nope." Deadpool hopped into the jet and slid the door close behind him. Deadpool walked up to the cockpit where he was greeted with six bullets to the chest. "Whoa!" Deadpool teleported behind her and grabbed her wrists. "You're better than I thought!" He tossed the gun out of her hands. "Maybe for our second date, instead of going to some restaurant, we go out and kill people!" said Deadpool, duck taping her arms and legs. She struggled. "Don't worry, babe, I'll be carful...this time." He placed her in the co-pilot's seat, "You can be my co-pilot!" He put a headset on her head.

"You're crazy!"

"Only about you, baby." He smiled and started the jet's engine. "How do you open the hanger doors?"

{OH! OH! Press the big red button!}

"Oh yeah!" Deadpool slammed his fist on the big red button. A missile shot out of the jet and destroyed the hanger door. "That was freakin' awesome!"

{Let's do that again!}

[OR we can leave before Heather DIES.]

"You're right!"

[Also we need to get these bullets out of our chest before we get lead poisoning.]

{Yeah, that stuff hurts.}

"Okay! Okay! We're leaving!" Deadpool fastened Heather's seat belt then his own. "We have lift off!"

[That for rockets.]

"Whatever." Deadpool shot the jet through the runway and out the hanger door at breakneck speeds, making all sorts of loops and corkscrews.

[We're going too fast.]

{Oh shut up, Mister Poopy-Pants! Live a little!}

[I live EOUGH with you two.]

"Then live a lot! Woo-hoo!"

{Wheeeeee!}

"How do you like the flight, Heather?" She just gave him a angry glance.

{She loves it!}

"How did you find me again, anyway? What do want with me? Why are you trying to kill me?" Heather asked.

"I'm not trying to kill you! What gave you that idea?"

[Probably the fact that you pointed a loaded gun at her head or your plane piloting skills?]

"Good point. Well, Heather, I wasn't trying to kill you.. or kidnap you... or any of that. I was actually trying to break you out of psychos villain's evil lair and get you to a hospital because someone poisoned you. Now, you can fight it all you want, but I'm just trying to get you-" Heather kicked him in the face. "Ow! How the hell did you get your legs free?! I don't even know how you would do that! Why would you even kick the guy who's flying the plane in the face, anyway?" She tried to kick him in the face again. He grabbed her ankle. "Heather, stop kicking me! I'm trying to fly the plane!" He complained.

"You call this flying? You haven't flown in a straight line since we took off!"

[She's got you there.]

"I know right! It's just like a rollercoaster!" A red emergency light started blinking. "What's the.." Deadpool checked around the dashboard to figure out what the problem was. "Why is the light blinking?" He asked no one in particular.

"It means we're either out of gas or losing attitude."Heather answered impolitely.

"Thanks, babe! See! At least someone is helping!"

[Was he referring to us?]

{I don't know. It's hard to tell sometimes.}

"Let me drive!" Heather demanded.

"No! You're not right in the head right now."

"Oh, and like you ever were?"

{Oh! I think we need some ice for that burn!}

"Any who. Let's play the question game! The game where I ask questions and you answer them."

"Why?"

"Because I'm bored and this is the only thing I can think of... okay, not the only thing but, I can't find the autopilot so... yeah..."

"What is wrong with you?"

"Uh..."

"Actually, a easier question would be: What isn't wrong with you?"

Deadpool ignored her. "OKAY! Question one. What's your pageant size? Question two. Where does your uncle live? And question three. Which one of your personalities cares the least about Tara?"

"The answer to your first question is this," Heather smacked his head. "The answer to your second question is- I don't know and the answer to your last question is- Who?"

"You don't know who Tara is?"

"Nope."

"Oh, well, I killed her."

"Should I care?"

"Um... I don't know?"

"Question mark?"

"What?"

"You said 'I don't know' like it was a question."

"I did?"

"Yeah."

"Bonus question. How flirtatious is your flirtatious personality?"

"She's flirtatious, not slutty."

"Wha- I wasn't... Okay, whatever. Next question. Do you wanna go to the beach after this whole thing is over?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? We're losing altitude or gas or both! And you're just asking creepy, disgusting, stupid questions!"

"Is that still mean Heather talking or regular Heather talking?" Heather took the duct type off.

" 'Mean Heather'?! 'Regular Heather'?! Okay, that's it!" She picked back up Deadpool's gun. "We can do this the easy way..." She aimed the gun at his head, "Or the hard way." Deadpool giggled.

"Okay, but remember, you gave me the choice. After I find the autopilot..." She shot him in the head. His blood splattered against the window.

"Why do I get the feeling that the only thing he actually heard me say was 'easy or hard way'?" Heather pushed Deadpool off of the pilot's seat and sat down. She looked at the controls "Oh sh*t. We were losing altitude AND running out of gas. How the hell did he keep us in the air for so long? Okay, maybe he wasn't THAT bad of a pilot." She thought out loud. Heather quickly glanced across the dashboard and finally found the autopilot. She slammed her fist on the button. The jet automatically landed itself in a pasture outside of some vacant farmland. Heather crawled out of the jet. "Please have a car.. please have a car.." Using all of her strength, Heather stumbled onto her feet. She wobbled for a bit but then finally started to head for the farm house, slowly. "I can't believe I'm still alive. How long has it been since I was poisoned? Two hours? Three? Four? I guess my uncle was right. I really do have a will to survive." She fell back to her knees and started to breath heavily again. "So hard to breath. The poison must be affecting my lungs more than I thought," she said in her head.

Deadpool finished pulling out all of the bullets engraved in his chest with a black military knife.

{Finally! Those were getting really uncomfortable!}

"Where did Heather go, now?"

Heather crawled to a dirt road. She looked sickly pale. "I don't think I'm going to make it." She thought to herself while laying in the middle of the dirt road. She noticed the shadow of a male figure stand over her. She looked at him. "D- Deadpool?" she asked out loud.

"Not exactly." It was Blade. He raised his sword, ready to strike. "I'm about to put you out of your misery."

**Rose: TO BE CONTINUED**

**Deadpool: That is the worst place to ever end a chapter!**

**Rose: Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Deadpool is back to the openings and closing of my chapters again.**

**Deadpool: *in a deep voice* Yes, my children! Did you miss me? I know you did!**

**Rose: "My children"?**

**Deadpool: What else am I going to call them?**

**Rose: I don't know.**

**Deadpool: I command you to continue writing this chapter!**

**Rose: Uh, sorry, but no. This chapter is getting kinda long and I don't know if they like reading long chapters.**

**Deadpool: When it's about me, of course they would!**

**{Ask them the question!}**

**Deadpool: Oh yeah! What did you guys think of my new game! Was it awesome? Did you love it?**

**{Of course they did!}**

**Deadpool: And if you didn't, please leave your name and address so it will be easier for me to find you.**

**Rose: You're not going kill everyone who doesn't like your game, are you?**

**Deadpool: NO! Of course not! I'm just going to have a talk with them. You know, like, ask them why they didn't like it.**

**Rose: *crosses my arms* You mean the same way you were going to have a talk with the producers about your movie?**

**Deadpool: No!**

**{Yes!}**

**Rose: Anyway, thanks for reading! Sorry it's been so long! Oh! And I have an announcement for all of you, but I'm going wait until the next chapter to say it.**

**Deadpool: Why?! I hate waiting!**

**Rose: Because we're out of time.**

**Deadpool: Since when did this become thirty-minute episodes?**

**Rose: These aren't episodes.**

**Deadpool: Well they should be! Who's with me?**

**[Me!]**

**{Me!}**


	7. Chapter 7

**Rose: Ok, guys I'm back for another chapter! And-**

**Deadpool: Tell us!**

**Rose: Tell you what?**

**Deadpool: The freaking announcement!**

**Rose: Oh yeah! Ok! Well, I was reading this.. um.. what should I call it? Um... well, anyway, it's this webpage that tells you how to do things like-**

**Deadpool: Like how to kill people and get way with it!**

**{How to be a Badass!}**

**[How to pass a history test without studying.]**

**Rose: Yes. Yes. And yes. All of those things and more.**

**Deadpool: So why did you bring this up?**

**Rose: Deadpool, you already know why.**

**Deadpool: I know that. But they don't.**

**{Just tell them!}**

**Rose: Ok. So as I was reading the pages, I noticed that the wording sounded a lot like DEADPOOL!**

**Deadpool: WHOOOOO HOOOOO!**

**Rose: So, I was thinking about making another Deadpool fanfic where Deadpool was giving out "how to's" on how to do stuff.**

**Deadpool: Like kill people!**

**Rose: Maybe something less illegal.**

**Deadpool: But the best ones are the illegal ones! **

**Rose: But I'm not going to let you tell thousands of viewers how to kill people.**

**{I thought you said this wasn't a TV show!}**

**Rose: Be quiet, you!**

**Deadpool: And I'm not going to tell them good ways at killing people. That's MY job you know!**

**{Good point!}**

**Rose: Is that so?**

**Deadpool: Yep! PS. I have BILLIONS OF VIEWERS!**

**Rose: I'm just going to continue the story..**

Heather crawled to a dirt road. She looked sickly pale. "I don't think I'm going to make it." She thought to herself while laying in the middle of the road. She noticed the shadow of a male figure stand over her. She looked at him. "D- Deadpool?" she asked out loud.

"Not exactly." It was Blade. He raised his sword, ready to strike. "I'm about to put you out of your misery." He quickly swung his sword but was shot in the back.

"I swear, you have got to be the most annoying-est ninja ever!"

{But still cool!}

The ninja, Blade, quickly turned around and flung three ninja shurikens at Deadpool's face. The first one hit him dead in the eye, the second pierced his forehead, and the third grazed the top of his head. "Okay, first, OW! Second, OWWW! Thirdly, OW" Deadpool equipped a sai and a machine gun. "Your going to die painfully and slowly!"

[Heather is dying. We need to get her to a hospital. NOW.]

"Okay! You're going to die painfully and quickly!" Blade got into a cool ninja fighting stance, ready to attack at any moment. Deadpool pulled the gun's trigger, firing off an array of bullets. Blade sliced the bullets in half as he charged at Deadpool. "Deadpool stood still.

{What are you doing!? Attack him before he attacks us again!}

Deadpool still didn't move.

[He's suicidal... again.]

Blade leaped towards Deadpool, about to slice his head off when, "SURPRISE!" Deadpool said, holding a bomb in his hand. The ninja's eye grew wide with shock as he tried to run away. But the bomb exploded before he got to a safe distance. Blood gushed everywhere.

{YES! WE FIANLLY KIILED HIM!}

[Yes, we killed him but we also blew off half of our body.]

{So, we can just wait until the new ones grow back.}

[But we don't have time to wait. Heather's dying.]

{Ok, then we'll just reattach the ones we blew off.}

[How are we going to do that with just an arm and a leg?]

{Oh, I guess we didn't think this through..}

[Ya think?]

"Don't worry, boys. I've got everything under control. I just gotta-" Deadpool sat up and saw part of his arm dangling form a tree. "Damn! How the hell am I supposed to reach my arm way over there!?"

{I guess we REALLY didn't think this through.}

Heather managed to crawl to Deadpool. "Are you ok?" She asked as sweetly as girl who's about to die can possibly be.

"Yeah, babe I'm alright. But it's not me I'm worried about. It's you." She touched his hand.

"Deadpool, I need to tell you something before I d-"

"You're not going to die! There has to be a hospital nearby!"

"But I can't..."

"Yes you can. Can you reattach my leg?"

"Your what!?"

"My leg. I blew it off. It's on that fence over there." Heather grabbed Deadpool's leg and dropped it next to his body.

"So I just put it in like a puzzle piece?"

"Yeah!" Heather reattached Deadpool's leg. "Thanks!" Deadpool jumped up and ran to the tree that his arm was blasted to.

{Dang it! It's only part of our arm!}

[Well, the part of our arm that was holding the bomb exploded into a ton of little pieces.]

Deadpool reattached what was left of his arm. "Well, part of an arm is better than no arm at all!" Deadpool ran back to Heather. "We're almost there! I just gotta figure out a way to-"

"There's a truck in the back."

"How do you know?"

"Please just get the truck. I don't-"

"Ok! Ok! Hold on a sec!" Deadpool ran to the back of the house and returned minutes later diving the truck. He pulled up next to Heather. He hopped out, picked up Heather, and strapped her into her seat. "Just hold on for a few more minutes." Deadpool said, flooring the gas pedal. "Okay! Where do you think the closest hospital would be?"

{Why are you so bad at finding your way around these places?}

[We've never here before.]

"Just keep diving straight." Heather directed him.

"How do you know your way around this place so well?"

"This is where my uncle lived..."

"I thought you said you didn't know where he lived."

"I don't know where his house is but I know what it looks like.."

"Wow..."

"...After you reach the main street... take a left and keep driving until you..."

"What?" Deadpool looked over at her. Her eyes were closed. "Heather!?"

{NOT AGAIN!}

Deadpool tried shaking her awake but she was unresponsive.

{WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO?!}

[Remain clam. She's still breathing...kinda..]

"Did she say take a left or a right?"

[Take a left! Were you listening?]

"Um, yes! Of course I was! I was just making sure you guys were!" Deadpool made a sharp turn to the left. "Okay what did she say next?"

[We don't know. That's when she passed out. Remember?]

"Damn. What do we do next?"

**** (Ten minutes later)****

"So do I just keep going straight and then turn right at the gas station or do I turn right and then keep going straight at the gas station?" Deadpool asked an old lady from the side of the rode. Once he had gotten into town he decided to pull over and ask for directions.

"Um, well now I'm confused. He-heh. Um, let me think." The old lady said, sweetly.

"Look, lady! The love of my life's been poisoned and she only has minutes left to live and if you don't tell me where the hospital is now, I'm going to take my anger and depression out on you!" He shouted.

"Oh my! I-I-I think you're supposed to go straight and then turn right at the gas station." The old lady shivered in fear.

"Thanks!" Deadpool hopped back in the truck and sped away.

{Do you think we're going to make it?}

"Yeah! We have to!"

[You don't need me to repeat the directions again? Do you?]

"No!..."

[Turn right.]

"I- I knew that!"

[No you didn't.]

"Yes I did!"

[No you didn't.]

"Yes I did!"

[No you didn't.]

"YES. I. DID!"

[Yes you did.]

"No I didn't!... I see what you did there!"

[You did?!]

"Yeah!"

{Look we're here!}

"Awesome!"

[Slow down or you'll crash through the doors!]

"Ain't nobody got time for dat!" Deadpool drove straight the glass doors and crashed into the wall. All the people inside screamed and panicked. DP picked up Heather and ran to the front desk. "She needs a doctor and quick!" The receptionist scrambled to her feet.

"You're the one who needs a doctor... and straight jacket! What are you crazy!? Thankfully no one was hurt!"

"Look, this is my girlfriend, Heather.."

[She's not our girlfriend..]

"And this girl poisoned her and-"

"Wait! Did you say 'Heather'?" The nurse asked.

"Um, yeah?"

"Oh my goodness!" The nurse ran to the other side of the desk and brushed Heather's hair out her face. "Oh my! It IS Heather!" The nurse's face filled with sadness. "Bill, get over here! Heather's back and she's not looking so good!" A male doctor ran out form a room behind the desk.

"What happened, now?!"

"She's been poisoned!"

"Alice, go get a stretcher!"

"Right away!" The nurse, Alice, ran quickly down the hallway.

"How long has she been like this?" The doctor asked, checking her vitals.

"Um, a couple of hours. I could barely keep her conscious." Deadpool explained. Alice rushed back with the stretcher and three other nurses.

"Oh poor, Heather." One said.

"Here ya go!" Alice said rolling it to the doctor.

"Thanks! Help me put her on it." The nurses helped him place Heather safely on the stretcher.

"Do you know what she was poisoned with?" Alice asked.

"No..." Deadpool stated gloomily.

"Well, okay. Thanks for your help." Alice joined the rest the medical group and helped them push the stretcher through an automatically opening door. Deadpool followed.

"Where are you taking her?" Deadpool asked.

"To ICU." Alice answered.

**Rose: Well I'm done.**

**Deadpool: WHAT? You can't be done! You still need to finish my story! You can't end it with a cliffhanger! We need to know how it ends! I won't let you leave this laptop until you finish!**

**Rose: I'm not done with the story! Just the chapter.**

**Deadpool: But I need to know if Heather's ok!**

**Rose: Well you have to wait like everyone else.**

**Deadpool: Agh! I HATE WAITING!**

**Rose: I know... you said that last chapter..**

**Deadpool: I did?**

**Rose: Yes. Yes you did.**

**Deadpool: Oh..**


	8. Chapter 8

**Rose: Sup, people! How you doin'! (Wendy is awesome!) I'm back for another chapter or "episode" as Deadpool likes to call it. I think he wants his own TV show.**

**Deadpool: HEAK YEAH! I deserve a TV show! And it better not look like Ultimate Spider-Man in any way, shape, or form!**

**Rose: Yeah… well any who, are you ready to start?**

**Deadpool: Hell yeah! I need to know what happens to Heather!**

**Rose: And away… we... go...**

"Where are you taking her?" Deadpool asked.

"To ICU," Alice answered. The nurses and doctors took Heather to a room in ICU. Deadpool followed. "Can you please wait out here for one minute? The doctors need room to examine the patient and run some tests."

{What?! We can't leave Heather in there all alone! What if she gets hurt even more!?}

[No! We should wait until they find out if she's even going to be ok. We wouldn't want to distract them or get in their way.]

Deadpool sighed, "Fine. I guess."

"Thank you, sir!" Alice rushed back inside the room. Another nurse walked in front of Deadpool. It was obvious by her facial expression that she was mad at him.

"What?" He asked.

"You drove your truck through our door and you need to sign some papers!" The woman crossed her arms.

"Look, lady, I'm busy—"

"Unless you want me to get the authorities involved, you will come with me to the fount desk."

"Fine..." said an annoyed merc. Deadpool followed the rude woman to the front desk. There she gave him a stack of papers to fill out. "What the hell is this!?"

"Read it and find out." The lady sat behind the desk and started typing on a computer.

{Rude!}

"What is this supposed to mean anyway!"

[Let me read it. Let's see…. It's a bill for the damages, blah, blah, blah, It wants your contact information and… threating of a LAW SUIT!?]

{What the hell?!}

Deadpool angrily marched to the desk. "I do not agree to your complaints!"

"Excuse me!?"

"You're making this sh*t up! I never did any of this!"

"Look, mister, security cameras caught you driving through the door and if you want I'll be happy to call the police!"

"What ever happened to the customer is always right?"

"This is a hospital! Not a restaurant!" Heather's doctor came through the automated doors holding a clipboard in his hand.

He cleared his throat. "Excuse me." Deadpool turned around.

"Oh, Doc! Thank goodness it's you! Is Heather going to be ok? Can I see her? Can you fire this bitch of a receptionists?"

{Through a cannon!}

"How about you come with me. We need to talk."

[Uh-oh..]

{This can't be good.}

The doctor led Deadpool back through the automatic opening doors. "I'm sorry I never introduced myself to you earlier. I am Dr. Jones."

"I'm Wade Wilson."

"Nice to meet you." Dr. J offered to shake hands with Deadpool. DP quickly shook hands with him.

"Give it to me strait, Doc. Is Heather going to be alright?" Dr. J frowned.

"I'm not sure. We discovered that she has been exposed the poison for about ten hours. The good news is that she didn't ingest much and I believe that is what kept her alive for so long. Her heart and lungs are fine. Plus we were able to fathom that the poison she was poisoned with was strychnine."

{Great… When there's good news, there's always bad news.}

"And what's the bad news?" Deadpool asked, not really wanting an answer.

"The bad news is that she also ingested a second unknown toxin and if we can't identify it we don't know if she will fully recover. Maybe if she was brought here earlier, we could have done more-"

"I thought you said was fine!" Deadpool shouted.

"Mr. Wilson, please calm yourself. She isn't dead. And if she can survive the other fourteen hours after her poisoning she will be fine."

"Oh." Deadpool said, this time more calm. "So, can I see her?"

"Um. Sure. But I should inform you that we have to keep her in a quiet and darkened room, because loud noises may cause very painful convulsions. So, you can't be loud and your visit will have to be brief."

"Ok?"

{I still don't understand why it had to be a darkened room.}

[Because dim light is calming. And she needs to be as calm as possible.]

{Oh.}

Dr. Jones escorted Deadpool to Heather's new room. "She's conscious but barely. Oh and please remember to BE quiet."

"Sure doc!" Deadpool hurriedly walked into the room and the doctor closed the door behind him. It was quiet. Even the heart monitor was quiet.

[You probably should put your phone on vibrate.]

{OOH YEAH! Good idea!}

Deadpool shushed his boxes before putting his phone on vibrate. He tip-toed to Heather's bed. "Heather?" He whispered. She looked at him and half smiled. "Hi." He gently grabbed her hand. "Don't worry. You're going to be fine." He smiled under his mask. She smiled back at him.

"Thanks." She quietly said.

"For what?"

"For everything."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"That's good. You should get some rest. The sooner you get out, the sooner you'll get your present." Heather's eyes lit up with excitement.

"You got me a present?"

Deadpool nodded his head. "Yeah."

"What is it?"

"You'll have to wait and find out. It's a surprise."

"Oh, come on. Tell me."

"Nope. If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Can I guess?"

"Sure, but you'll never guess it. I'll give you three chances."

"Ok. Is it a car?"

"Nope."

"Hmmm, is it a puppy?"

"No. Last guess."

"Darn! Is it a shopping spree?"

"Not at all. Well you're out of guesses."

"Ah man! Can you tell me, now?"

"Nope. You'll have to wait and see."

"Fine." She whined. Dr. Jones opened the door and gestured for Deadpool to leave the room.

"I got to go, babe. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay." He kissed Heather on her forehead and walked out the room.

"What's up, Doc?"

"I was monitoring her vitals. While you were in there."

"Annnnnd?"

"She seems to be gradually getting better."

"That's awesome! So when will she be getting out?"

"I'm going to keep her here for a week. Just to make sure she'll be fine. I still don't know what that other drug was I want to make sure it won't hurt her anymore."

"Ok."

"Did you guys come from a costume party or somthin'?"

"Huh?"

"You're in a costume. She was dressed up. So, I was wondering if you guys were at a party."

"Oh! Um, Yeah! We were at a party!"

"Did you see anyone put anything in her food or drink?"

"Um, no. Light bulb! I know someone who probably would have!"

"Who?"

"I'll be back!" Deadpool sprinted to his truck and drove away from the hospital.

{Where are we going?}

"To Lilly's house. She's a witness!"

{She is?}

[Yeah. She was the one with Heather at the party.]

{Oh yeah!}

**Rose: That's the end of chapter 8, is it?**

**Deadpool: Yep. *eats a cupcake***

**Rose: Hey! Those are mine!**

**Deadpool: If you want them so badly then wait ten minutes.**

**Rose: Ew! That is so wrong on so many levels! *punches Deadpool in the gut***

**Deadpool: OW! *holds his stomach* You could teach Bob how to punch.**

**{He-he! You just got beat up by a girl!}**

**Rose: Well, anyway, thanks for reading and we see you in the next one!**


End file.
